Christian Witzke

Christian Witzke is the biggest waste of height to ever roam the earth, which he takes up half of because of his sheer size. Scientists have concluded that he might have a little zest due to the fact he does not speak to the female species. Christian loves to eat, it is actually his main sport. He also plays soccer and lacrosse as a goalkeeper (he takes up the whole goal). Christian also has bad knees from holding up the weight of his gargantuan body. Due to his extreme weight he runs like a snake moving side to side as he runs. Christian is very un intelligent scoring a high of 73 on his music test.

You have to loose weight you are becoming Christian Witzke.
(This substitutes for obese)

by By Shane Schgrodum October 17, 2023

Christian Santiago

Christian Santiago is the hottest guy you will ever meet, you will fall in love in 0.2 seconds, he is just THAT sexy ass nigga and he just needs to be praised because god put all his work into his looks.

Christian Santiago is sexy
Yea ik

by WxkeChris January 28, 2022

Christian Rock

Music and songs that are directed toward Christians for them to praise God, hear a Christian message or enjoy with a rock music beat.

Did you hear about the Christian Rock concert this weekend?

by b4urn April 4, 2020

christian skaf

Total savage who is both good with chicks and the drums

Dude, wish I was a god like Christian Skaf.

by Robert Esquivelle August 24, 2017

Lewis Christian

A furry that lives in space

Man that person is a Lewis Christian

by fjafljjkdjflksjfwiejfijewdaifh January 21, 2020

pull-a-christian

Meaning to be caught unaware due to being maniacly focused on something, in place that with retrospecks,was not a good place to be, leading to incarceration.

At 3am the light from the 7-11 dumpster caught the attention of a cop,that saw it coming from a head lamp and knew someone was about to pull-a-christian.

by youcanhandleit December 2, 2014

crisis christian

A follower of the Christian Faith or a Christian-related faith who only attends church in a time of crisis. This is moderately similar to a Holiday Christian though the attendance of a Holiday Christian is more predictable. Crisis Christians may attend church for consecutive weeks (or even days) in their time of need and not give it a second thought once their prayers have been answered.

Person 1: "My husband lost is job. We went to church every week and prayed for a miracle. Now he has a fantastic job and we don't need to go to church anymore!"
Person 2: Well you're quite the Crisis Christian, aren't you?

by ValleyBreezer January 31, 2017