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Closet Monster

This is where you hide alot of your friends in a room where you know you will have sex, normally done at a party or gala event.

You take a girl (or rarely, a boy) whom you have no respect for into the room and commence having sex with her/him.

Right at the moment of climax, you give the prearranged signal and all of your friends emmerge laughing to scare and severly embarrass the victim
Dude, did you hear about Ellen?

No what happened?

At that party last weekend Cole Closet Monstered her! Matt, Jordan, and Evan were all hiding in the room
by SwissCanadian March 31, 2009
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closey

To be almost yet not quite struck in the genitals by an object.
Wow that was a closey.
by Smity Jegawerbanmanjenson July 22, 2006
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Racist Close Minded Cuban

Have never traveled outside Miami or NYC metro region besides their Cuba.

Can't comprehend that in this 21st century, there are many others who are more sophisticated, much richer in wealth than themselves such as Jewish Americans, Germans, Japanese, Koreans, Rich Mexicans and middle class and wealthy Mexican Americans.

Are shocked to bump into rich Japanese, Koreans, Mexicans, Brazilians buying up the town.

If they are forced to travel to China, Korea, or Japan, they have difficulty accepting the superiority of Chinese, Korean, Japanese technology, sophistication or wealth.

Can become very envious of all those ethnic groups who become much more successful then them.

Like to make racist and stereotypical comments against all other Latin Americans that are not Cubans, Argentines, Uruguyans, or from Spain--that they are a bunch of dumb Indians, Mestizos. When in reality there is an increasing blooming middle class/wealthy class of Indigenous & Mestizo Latin Americans that are easier to approach than these arrogant Cubans.
"Racist Close Minded Cuban" to non-Cuban Mexican-American professor:

Somos blancos y no puedo comprender como es que los Japoneses y los Coreanos estan comprando mucho tereno aqui. De donde llega ese dinero. No que todos son pobre aya.

Mexican American Professor: Ay, Dios Mio...Ustedes los Cubanos deveras son idiotas y deveras no saben nada fuera de Cuba y Miami. Japon y Corea son paises ricos ahora porque sus gobiernos si han invertido en su pueblo. Por eso tu eres un "Racist close minded Cuban."
by Socrates-Seal April 5, 2013
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closet racist

Someone who tries to hide the fact that they are racist. This is often done by concealing their true thoughts by opposite behavioral patterns in the same overcompensating fashion as many closet homosexuals do.
David: I just read an alarming paper on the socioeconomic position of African Americans.

Jim: Mmm, what? Afro Americans? Sounds a bit racist to me..

David: No it isn’t, listen: analysis of several US federal statistical databases showed that African Americans are more likely to end up in prison than to end up in college. Just an alarming statistical fact.

Jim: You can’t say that! That’s racist man!

David: I think you're a closet racist.
by Gein050 October 17, 2011
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close the register

a pleading to someone to cease using sarcasm or dry humor. Principly used when the third party fails to understand the joking nature. Originated in episode 3F07 ("Marge Be Not Proud") of The Simpsons, when Jeff Albertson (AKA Comic Book Guy) says to Bart "Seeing as we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the register at this point..."
first guy: "...and the other gynocologist says "Fund us? We're lucky she doesn't sue us!"
second guy: "Uhhh, ok."
first guy: "Gynocolgist? Fund us? Fundus?"
second guy: "I don't get it."
third guy: "Oh, Jesus, Pete! Just close the register!"
by Awful Show Keyz September 21, 2008
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Play me close

Dont ever bring your new girl around me. You better play me close.
by Thug Therapy June 21, 2020
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Closet Peacock

A person who is constantly advertising and praising his/her self by indirect means.

(Origin: "The Mind-Body Problem" by Rebecca Goldstein.)
She's an example of the more obnoxious sort of peacock: a closet peacock. Once you get the dictionary to her private language, you understand that everything she says translates into self-praise.

... Right now, she was complaining to me about the ENORMOUS size of her classes and her need to procure a second graduate student to help with the grading. Translation: "I'm such a POPULAR teacher."

(Mind-Body Problem, p. 236)
by PaleBlueYacht April 21, 2011
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