baste my turtle

wash your genitals (male)

A turtle's head retracts much like a penis does. During ultrasound examinations, male gender is said to be seen as the "turtle sign" because the penis looks like a turtle head and the scrotum resembles the shell.

Dude, I've been sweating all day. I've got to go baste my turtle before I go out tonight.

by Ritaroo2 June 14, 2008

the breezy turtle

the act of holding a piece of turd in your anus and moments later farting blowing the air past the turd, creating a really bad smell of shit in your surroundings.

damn bro i have to take a shit really bad! i have a turtle poking ...let me fart....AHH SHIT ITS "THE BREEZY TURTLE"!

by DRFINEST2010 June 2, 2010

Flying Awkward Turtles

this happens when a situation is so awkward if the turtles weren't flying they would cut the tension and all hell would break lose. However, if the tension is cut an immediate mob of more flying turtles, awkward turkeys, awkward peacocks and regular awkward turtles start to surround the situation. If there is a silence from the awkward situation for longer than 5-10 seconds then a giant Awkward killing shark comes along and eats everything in one bite, thus returning everything back to normal.

I was buying condoms in the sex isle at the store the other day, and my girlfriends dad walked up and started having a conversation with me about her. When he saw what i was buying, flying awkward turtles started to swarm above me. Eventually they cut the tension and then a mob of turkeys, peacocks and more turtles started to swarm. The awkward killing shark never came...

by G-money777 June 10, 2011

Burping the Turtle

When a male engages a female in anal intercourse from the rear, with such force that his member penetrates deep enough to injure her, causing the glans of his member to emerge from her vagina.

The "head" of the "turtle" would likely be covered in "mud", enhancing the illusion.

This fantastical sexual feat was imagined in order to win a gross-out contest in Denver, CO.

"Holy shit, that dude is bangin her dirtchute so hard he's burping the turtle!"

by BigMDub, ZachDB, Cpt. Pickard August 7, 2012

Choking the turtle

Clenching one's butt cheeks to prevent a bowel movement.

I shouldn't have eaten that 7-11 burrito, I've been choking the turtle for the last 15 minutes.

by Johnny Quag September 23, 2014

turtle

Rolling your surfboard over to allow a large wave to pass over you.

That set was gnarly, I had to turtle twice to get past that lineup.

by Wave Kiper July 31, 2006

Turtle Nips

The genetic abnormality that gives its victims nipples that closely resemble a snapping turtles.

AS: Dude you got fuckin turtle nips!
MW: Your gay I was born with this.

by Antwan s February 17, 2008