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Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.
by TauntonJah November 5, 2019
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big fat monkey balls

When you need to get out of a conversation in the best way possible
Guy: hey wanna go talk about what happened on June 16th 2012?

Guy 2: big fat monkey balls (walks away)
by A huge fucking idiot October 16, 2022
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Monkey Rape

When a monkey comes up and rapes any random person
by Anonymous October 31, 2003
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monkeyboner

monkeyboner is the kind of boner you get thats curved and shaped like a bannana
yo get dat monkeyboner out of mah pussy its to curved and hurts like a motherfucker
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monkey hustle

A situation in which the people involved yank your chain to create the illusion that progress is happening even though it isn't. A subtle smoke screen meant to confuse you.

It is a method often used by politicians, customer service reps and anyone else who wants to make you believe something is true.

Imagine a group of monkeys dancing or moving about to give the impression that they are working hard when, in fact, they aren't. Dancing monkeys are meant to distract you so that you take your eye off the ball.
1) Customer service is giving me the monkey hustle. I called for assistance with my bill. I spoke with three representatives, giving the same information, they say hold please then pass me to the next rep.

2) The confusion surrounding the pastor who wants to burn a holy book has officially become a monkey hustle.

3) This website is giving me the monkey hustle. Every time I click on a link it opens a new window directing me away from the information that I'm looking for.
by voodoo chile September 16, 2010
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Mongelli Juice

MONGELLI MUN JELLY Juice JOOS

Noun

1. A form of juice made specifically from a man like God originating from the small town of Bari in southern Italy.

2. The natural fluid, fluid content, or liquid part that can be extracted from a Mongelli.

You extract the liquid from the mounds of a Mongelli through a large hard cylinder type object with a mushroom top with a drinking hole at the tip.

The juice can be extracted in several ways: constant tugging, kissing, sucking or a pump like motion of a Mongelli pole.

Also known as nectar for the goddesses. Can be used for bad complexion, dehydration of beautiful women and is a great protein supplement that can prolong happiness.
Girl 1: Wow your complexion looks great what is your secret?

Girl 2: I have been using Mongelli Juice once a day and I can feel the difference. It even does your body good to drink it.

Girl 1: Really?? What side effects does it have?

Girl 2: Round mouth, Red eyes & some pelvic pain.

Girl 1: Thats great, I want some...lets go find a Mongelli and get that Juice.
by Chaddilac Escapades August 6, 2011
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