John Mastodon

The bravest and richest of humans. Works on teleportation for everyone and world peace. The inventor of Mastodon. Started out as a hungry child on the south pole, worked his way up in the world to become the richest man in the universe, later married to Joan Mastodon, the richest person in the universe. Only rides electric bikes. Has a pet frog named Thomas.

John Mastodon saved the world with his teleporting tech

by Marin Fowler December 19, 2022

Dirty John

We dont speak of Dirty John, he comes up behind you when you're in a bush.

We dont speak about Dirty John

by UrbanKai April 15, 2021

Jesse john

Jesse john is mist likely smart and loves computers. Jesse john are all mostly Pisces. They are all very rare to find and dont make them mad they gut very mad!

"Yo look its a jesse john!" "Watch out hes gonna throw hands"

by Littleguydood November 28, 2020

John Morris

A dumbass racist white dude with crooked teeth.

Look a John Morris smoking pole

by Random dick weed June 14, 2019

John Cringe

The inventor of cringe. He invented cringe right around the time god made Gabe.

Oh, you know. John Cringe!

by The wandoman May 30, 2020

John Hearn

John Hearn is a good-looking guy who thinks he’s really big but is actually chubby

John Hearn, you’re not big, stop going to the gym!

by Gussudidococ March 20, 2019

john heder

Misspelled version of Jon Heder.

Person: John Heder is so poprockin'
Other person: His name is Jon, dickweed

by the raconteurs August 31, 2008