Jesus Powers

noun, at least I think so. could be a noun, could be an adjective, who gives a shit. parts of speech are lame anyway.

"Jesus Powers" is the description one applies to a particular person when a particular situation has occurred that defies logic and reason. When the impossible has not only been made possible, but accomplished as well then an individual may be referred to as having Jesus Powers.
(During a late night online first-person shooter match)

Guy 1:"Dude! I shot this asshole with, like, 30 fuckin' bullets! No fuckin' way he could have survived that shit. I was lighting his ass up!"

Guy 2: "Dude's got fuckin' Jesus powers man."

(While attending a magic show)

"How does Criss Angel do that shit? Must have Jesus powers."

Guy 1: "Fuckin' Jesus powers."
by COD blows BFBC2 ROCKS September 11, 2011
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flow jesus

When a christian boy has long flowing hair.
"Yo flow jesus i like your hair!"
"Ay thanks man"
by Flow Jesus February 27, 2022
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Jesus Cloud

When the sun is hidden behind a large cloud so that the light bounces all around the edges and creates an awesome shot of heavenly clouds. Unfortunately, cell phone cameras can never capture these epic views.
Bro: Whoa, look at that cloud, man!
Man: Dude that's epic.
Bro: Like, the light and stuff bouncing around.
Man: It's a Jesus Cloud!
by Ass Kicka January 18, 2012
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Jesus Jive

A dance performed at a VBS or any very high energy worship service.
"Wow Mary Magdalene is really getting into her Jesus Jive!"
by Mablé Rekrek July 28, 2014
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feet to jesus

having sex with a woman, a sexual referance.

Fucking a woman while her feet are point towards the sky
Corey:did u have sex with your girl yet
ME:hell yeah i put her feet to jesus
by themjc96 January 03, 2012
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beach jesus

That guy with jesus like hair found on the beach always without a shirt. He is seen commonly fishing or walking the beach without a shirt on. Always has beer, and always offers one to you.
Guy 1: Did you see Beach Jesus there today on the beach?
Guy 2: Yeah he gave me a beer and showed me where the babes hang out.
by Zc33 February 26, 2018
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Jesus Style

When you fuck a girl while she's suspended with her hands nailed to the wall
"So, how'd it go? Did he fuck you Jesus style?"
"Nah, we were going to, but he kinda left me hanging."
by Wizeguy88 November 22, 2016
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