smashed whale shit

1) An analog used in comparison to the physical appearance of one’s wife after a period of domestic toil. Possibly made in an attempt at sympathy --by an idiot.
Mr. Johnson: "Hi hon, what’s for supper? Have you seen my USB beer opener? Whoa! Honey! You look like a bag of freshly smashed whale shit."

Mrs. Johnson: “Go fuck your hat Randy; I’m sleeping with your little brother!”
by Naldistimo Von Mallen November 08, 2011
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Beached Whale Status

The moment in which you now no longer resemble a human being but look more like a beached whale ready to take its eternal rest. protocal requires you to update you facebook status to read "beached whale status", but chances are your not gonna get it up there.

**You are now at the point of no return, you will not move for the rest of the night unless there is an emergency**
idiot: yo hand me my phone

You: dude i cant im beached whale status right now
by Mr.DirkAsFuck February 18, 2011
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Menstruating whale snatch

A phrase to describe a large amount of blood, paint, tomato juice, originally coined in the 60s to describe the tomatoe orgy popular in The Village in NY, now used by reporters inveigled by the Thai red shirts.
All these Thai red shirt rioters with their paint, and OMG blood, it's like a menstruating whale snatch, yeah!

That expression captures the overwhelming red so well, I hope it makes it to Urban dicK
by Dr Merkin May 14, 2010
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Sperm Whale

A wet willy but with semen. You cum on your finger and stick it in their ear.
That nasty asshole gave me a sperm whale.
by Bon bon the magnificent December 14, 2009
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beached whale

when you whipe your ass and strategicly place the toilet paper on the dry part of the toilet bowl so it surprises the next user and generly needs assistance to get flushed
my wife was pissed i left a beached whale for her
by muffie muffin pants December 07, 2008
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blue whale game

50-Challenge game that drives to suicide. Facebook friends/random Facebook person sends a link to the game, and you must accept. It begins with simple challenges, as watching horror movies for an amount of time, but then it gets dark, as killing one of your parents/friends or drink poison pills. The last challenge is "Suicide".

People say that if you accept, you wont be able to leave it/get away.

Steps are said clearly with a creepy voice.
10 children in Russia died because of the Blue Whale game.
by radoosh April 28, 2017
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sweaty beluga whales

An occasion where a muffin top is forced to make an important decision on whether it will possibly suck off a narwhal or if it may in fact get sauced around by a great grandma
They can be such sweaty beluga whales sometimes
by Johnny bohnatz the third June 06, 2017
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