An individual who has gone through the steps to become certified as a racist in the eyes of the public and the law. Ordained Racists are known to think of themselves as certified beauticians. However, they are just blatantly racist and decidedly out of pocket.
Guy 1: “Damn you here what Fred was saying last night?”
Guy 2: “Yea super out of pocket. Guy is an ordained racist”
Guy 2: “Yea super out of pocket. Guy is an ordained racist”
by Dr. Ryp February 20, 2022
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by Lonlon21zl1 March 5, 2022
Get the racist spic mug.The Banana Racist.
A “banana racist” is that peculiar individual who looks at a perfectly ripe, sunny yellow banana and recoils as if it personally betrayed them. To them, the mere hint of brown spots signals moral decay — a lapse of discipline in the fruit world.
Their allegiance lies firmly with the greener side of the spectrum: firm‑fleshed, tart, bordering on vegetal. These people don’t eat bananas; they judge them.They believe a banana should crunch slightly — as if it isn’t sure whether it’s fruit or vegetable. Offer them a ripe one, and you’ll see disdain flicker in their eyes, the same look sommeliers reserve for boxed wine.
They claim they “just like the texture better,” but deep down, you suspect it’s ideological: an aversion to sweetness masquerading as sophistication.In the grand fruit hierarchy, banana racists are the ascetics — the ones who treat your ripe, sugary snack as moral weakness.
They whisper about firmness and freshness as though they’re debating fine art. The rest of us simply chew and move on.
A “banana racist” is that peculiar individual who looks at a perfectly ripe, sunny yellow banana and recoils as if it personally betrayed them. To them, the mere hint of brown spots signals moral decay — a lapse of discipline in the fruit world.
Their allegiance lies firmly with the greener side of the spectrum: firm‑fleshed, tart, bordering on vegetal. These people don’t eat bananas; they judge them.They believe a banana should crunch slightly — as if it isn’t sure whether it’s fruit or vegetable. Offer them a ripe one, and you’ll see disdain flicker in their eyes, the same look sommeliers reserve for boxed wine.
They claim they “just like the texture better,” but deep down, you suspect it’s ideological: an aversion to sweetness masquerading as sophistication.In the grand fruit hierarchy, banana racists are the ascetics — the ones who treat your ripe, sugary snack as moral weakness.
They whisper about firmness and freshness as though they’re debating fine art. The rest of us simply chew and move on.
“Don’t offer Emma that ripe banana — she’s a total banana racist and only eats the green ones.”
“You can tell a banana racist by how quickly they judge your fruit bowl.”
“He calls himself a fitness enthusiast, but really he’s just a banana racist in denial.”
“The office kitchen turned into a war zone once the banana racists demanded a separate shelf for unripe fruit.”
“Banana racists say they prefer ‘firm texture,’ but we all know it’s just an excuse to be contrarian at breakfast.”
“You can tell a banana racist by how quickly they judge your fruit bowl.”
“He calls himself a fitness enthusiast, but really he’s just a banana racist in denial.”
“The office kitchen turned into a war zone once the banana racists demanded a separate shelf for unripe fruit.”
“Banana racists say they prefer ‘firm texture,’ but we all know it’s just an excuse to be contrarian at breakfast.”
by ChristianChef January 21, 2026
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