Tape Jesus

A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.

Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.

by Tape Jesus’s Secretary December 22, 2018

Jesus Crikey

A term coined by a person who doesn't know how to acurately perform an Australian accent. It loosely means "holy Hell?!"

Jesus crikey, that scared the absolute shit out of me!

by sacredpastadefines September 26, 2016

Cup Of Jesus

When you or someone need Jesus.

Looks like this is going to be a crazy day today I need a cup of Jesus

by Random Chick June 05, 2015

Jesus Powers

noun, at least I think so. could be a noun, could be an adjective, who gives a shit. parts of speech are lame anyway.

"Jesus Powers" is the description one applies to a particular person when a particular situation has occurred that defies logic and reason. When the impossible has not only been made possible, but accomplished as well then an individual may be referred to as having Jesus Powers.

(During a late night online first-person shooter match)

Guy 1:"Dude! I shot this asshole with, like, 30 fuckin' bullets! No fuckin' way he could have survived that shit. I was lighting his ass up!"

Guy 2: "Dude's got fuckin' Jesus powers man."

(While attending a magic show)

"How does Criss Angel do that shit? Must have Jesus powers."

Guy 1: "Fuckin' Jesus powers."

by COD blows BFBC2 ROCKS September 11, 2011

flow jesus

When a christian boy has long flowing hair.

"Yo flow jesus i like your hair!"
"Ay thanks man"

by Flow Jesus February 27, 2022

Jesus Cloud

When the sun is hidden behind a large cloud so that the light bounces all around the edges and creates an awesome shot of heavenly clouds. Unfortunately, cell phone cameras can never capture these epic views.

Bro: Whoa, look at that cloud, man!
Man: Dude that's epic.
Bro: Like, the light and stuff bouncing around.
Man: It's a Jesus Cloud!

by Ass Kicka January 18, 2012

Jesus Jive

A dance performed at a VBS or any very high energy worship service.

"Wow Mary Magdalene is really getting into her Jesus Jive!"

by Mablé Rekrek July 28, 2014