Traffic Jesus

A driver (male/female) known to ALWAYS allow others the right-of-way, often causing his/her passengers to become angry at them for being overly nice to any and all traffic.

Dan: "Dude, your dad is always letting other people go first, even when it's HIS turn. No wonder we're always late.."

Chris:"I know man, he's a total traffic jesus."

by SeñorFrog January 23, 2017

Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'

Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style

by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009

porcelain jesus

Any toilet in which one part takes in excretion.

Ex.

To shit or piss
To throw up

Fuck , did you see Rihanna sucking Charlie Sheens cock on the porcelain jesus? Dude got a blumpkin! LEGENDARY!

by PattyCakes May 3, 2018

Jesus Antlers

An abstract concept that generalizes what every white blooded American should stand for.

Cletus - Wesley, did ya remember to pick up that case of PBR and the mountain dew?
Wesley - Hell yeah, I'm always wearing my Jesus Antlers.

by Batdad Merla February 17, 2013

beach jesus

That guy with jesus like hair found on the beach always without a shirt. He is seen commonly fishing or walking the beach without a shirt on. Always has beer, and always offers one to you.

Guy 1: Did you see Beach Jesus there today on the beach?
Guy 2: Yeah he gave me a beer and showed me where the babes hang out.

by Zc33 May 8, 2018

Tape Jesus

A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.

Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.

by Tape Jesus’s Secretary December 22, 2018

Jesus Powers

noun, at least I think so. could be a noun, could be an adjective, who gives a shit. parts of speech are lame anyway.

"Jesus Powers" is the description one applies to a particular person when a particular situation has occurred that defies logic and reason. When the impossible has not only been made possible, but accomplished as well then an individual may be referred to as having Jesus Powers.

(During a late night online first-person shooter match)

Guy 1:"Dude! I shot this asshole with, like, 30 fuckin' bullets! No fuckin' way he could have survived that shit. I was lighting his ass up!"

Guy 2: "Dude's got fuckin' Jesus powers man."

(While attending a magic show)

"How does Criss Angel do that shit? Must have Jesus powers."

Guy 1: "Fuckin' Jesus powers."

by COD blows BFBC2 ROCKS September 11, 2011