Jobsian Complex

Mental disorder defined by the effect of Steve Jobs fanboyism on the personality of a given subject. Often derived from normal, less pathological Apple fandom and channeled through unauthorized biographies. Common symptoms are one of more of the following : compulsive, neurotic attention to detail, at least partially irrational lust for secrecy, violent outbursts including the flinging of 80's electronics at unsuspecting bystanders.

"If he'd kept his Jobsian Complex in check, Bob would have gotten his company's product out of the door three years ago."

by mattbr78 August 27, 2009

jobs a fish

used when you've done a good job or you are happy with something

you have just finished your day at work. 'Jobs a fish'

by Tom Parkinson May 4, 2004

Jobsworth

Jobsworth's have evolved from the formerly limited scope of their disorder. Often a low-ranking member of staff, a jobsworth will follow procedure and dictat to the letter, believing their responsibility to be all-encompassing and of potentially international importance. This only refers to cases where that instruction has come from their line manager; any other request will be met with a dismissive 'not in my job description' or will require confirmation, in writing, before it can be done. A jobsworth always seeks to cover his/her own arse and as such will record and minute every request or job done, and will always have a trail of evidence for the most menial to the most important of tasks, though responsibility will never lead back to them.

Jobsworth behaviour can also maniest itself in someone more senior who anally keeps to script on every task and project, often based around analysis and control of other people's work Risk Management, Issue Analysis for example), and who uses the phrase "As we have discussed" and "Further to our conversation yesterday, you agreed...", copying in their and your manager 'for reference' when in reality it's to cover their back should anything go wrong, thus meaning they will not take any responsibility and you'll be left looking like a mug.

"If you follow the email trail below, you will note that I asked my colleague to complete the letter by Thursday, and to send it on that day. You will also note that I followed up this email on the Friday with a further mail, and although there was an email to me on the Friday afternoon stating that the letter would not be ready, I had left the office to go to cake-making and French-embroidery class, so did not receive it in good time. It was in any case not my responisbility as you will have seen from the email trail."

"The frigging jobsworth totally stitched me up. He pulled up some long email trail but didn't even mention that I'd told the jobbo twat on Thursday I wouldn't be able to finish it in time because of the accident with the lawnmower"

by Oli CC February 3, 2009

jobs

In professional wrestling, someone who deliberately loses to another wrestler. A "jobber" is someone who almost always loses to other wrestlers.

It was a sad day for hulkamaniacs everywhere when Hulk Hogan jobbed to Goldberg.

by Alfie The Horndog September 3, 2005

joose

for all times when you wanna get loose. most people probably drink it when they have no money, but it is appropriate at all times. when you haven't slept in days due to studying and you want to get drunk and stay up til 5am instead of doing all of the school work that you should be doing drink this. it is a sure way to embarrass yourself and make bad life decisions. avoid blue and red flavors at all costs, orange and purple are acceptable and watermelon is the pinnacle (12% alcohol dude). combine with other drugs at your own risk...

snorting xanax + pabst + chugging joose in under 5 minutes = getting kicked out of boone saloon because you may have been crawling on the floor searching for that oh so precious last zanax, running out into the street, waking up not knowing where you are or why one of your legs is so messed up that you can't walk on it or why you have bruises on your head.

by loosewithjoose May 2, 2010

goo goo ga joob

originally brought into use by the beatles. can mean whatever the hell you want it too. vaugly similar usage as wordall your base are now belong to us/word

I am the walrus, goo goo ga joob.

by DBRobinson August 30, 2003

Jobsworth

That prick who sticks to the rules of his job no matter what

That jobsworth wouldn’t let me on the bus because I forgot my oyster

by UtterWAnkstain0161 July 9, 2018