financial crisis

(ECONOMICS) a shock to the industrial system caused by massive errors in investment decisions. In essence, financial crises are failures of the capital markets (stock exchanges, etc.) to do their job.

In the lead-up to a financial crisis, money entrusted to capital managers to invest is spent instead on bolstering the plutonomy. Then, when those same capital managers are overleveraged, it becomes obvious that the economy has been producing the wrong stuff; its corporations are therefore worth a lot less than everyone had supposed they were.

Then people sell their shares of stock, causing a liquidity crisis for many firms, which react by firing people and dumping anything of value at reduced prices.

This requires a lot of expensive genius to do well.

While there is little evidence so far that the 2008 financial crisis was engineered by any one perpetrator, the very same economic elites who caused it are now poised to benefit from it by imposing "disaster capitalism."

by Primus Intra Pares July 11, 2010

financial hangover

Far worse than nausea, headaches, vomit stains, battle wounds, dehydration, cramps, gas, the shits, grogginess, toilet hugging or when “the sunlight hits you dead in the eye, like it’s mad you gave half the day to last night.”

Occurs when you wake up and notice you’ve spent a copious amount of money the previous blackout night. Could include leaving your tab open at a bar, or simply losing your wallet like a true inebriated dumbfuckboozer.

Dude, I’ve got the worst hangover. My head is pounding harder than I pounded that slizz last night.

Check your wallet fuckface, I bet your financial hangover’s worse. You bought the entire bar shots of Jack last night.
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Yo, you gotta have the worst financial hangover mankind’s eva seen. You bought multiple fifths, a quap of trees, six pizzas and an STD-free prostitute.

I wish I remember at least one of those purchases, but at least I’m classy and didn’t buy myself the herp.

by Syracuse JOHNSON October 20, 2009

pre-fiance

The stage when two people are in love and plan on getting engaged and married someday but are either too young or not ready to head to that stage yet. This term helps to show that you are at a higher level of commitment than in a normal relationship. This is an engagement without a proposal essentially.

He didn't propose yet, we are just pre-fiances for now, but he'll propose eventually.

by bbwdd June 25, 2010

Financial Incontinence

1. A propensity to piss money away

2. lacking in financial moderation or self-control

3. unable to retain or manage ones finances

4. Financial Incontinence is the primary symptom of Pecuniary Tract Disorder (PTD)

Q: Why am I always broke?
A: Because you’re financially incontinent.

Americas is 14 Trillion dollar debt due to epic financial incontinence

by pasmarticus August 20, 2011

financial escape velocity

It occurs when income earned from your investments is consistently greater than your spending, allowing you to live off of your savings indefinitely.

I'll retire once I've achieved financial escape velocity.

by trapclap January 3, 2015

financial enema

To have one's bank accounts and/or other financial holdings thoroughly cleaned out, usually through one's own foolishness or stupidity. To have the deposits ejected suddenly from one's personal or professional financial network.
Winners of big lottery winnings and "professional" sports figures are often relieved of their financial windfalls this way. Ya gotta luv it! A fool and his/her money are soon parted!

Man, my attorney was a useless turd; my ex and her damn attorney really cleaned me out... I got a real financial enema.

by You_Da_Monster December 27, 2017

Financially Sexy

Originally coined by women in the late 1980's as "Financially Attractive" when talking about an ugly guy, this new definition is now used by the "Wiser" Gentleman ( A male of approximately +35 years). A man who has probably just come off his 3rd serious relationship with a "Hot sort" ( A feamle aged 25 +/- 5 years old) since losing his virginity and has no coin left due to her Insta lifestyle requirements. The said "Wiser" gentleman has now realised that the Hot sort is not worth the time nor financial effort and is happier with someone who has a better paying career, brains and at sometimes alot older, rather than the "Hot sort" looks he has committed to in the past. Hence the male equivalent term "Financially Sexy".

20 y.o. Dave: "Bro check out 'Ol mate and his Missus! It's like looking at a Lion with a Hippo."
35 y.o. Tony: "Mate! That Hippo is the local Doc in town. I can understand why, she is definitely Financially sexy!"

by Crewy84 January 16, 2020