Skip to main content

Australian football 

A sport in Australia, somewhat close to rugby. It is an overall, sport of doom. It gives men a wide-open space in which to kill each other in a legal fashion. Very entertaining, it is the most intense (and confusing) sport you will ever watch!!

australian vampire 

This is when you go "down under" on your girl when its that time of the month.
Hey babe, are you on your period yet so I can give you the australian vampire?

Australian Rules Football 

A sport where the criminal activities of players can be overlooked. Search "afl drugs" , "afl rape" , "afl gang bashing" , "afl player drink driving" , "afl player assaults policewoman" , and the most insidious of all "afl sexual assault hush money" . It's an attitiude that filters down to the lower grades in acts of violence and racism(search "werribee junior afl team assaults disabled girl" and "grubbers attack jewish man" for details). They also recently exported their mindless criminality and violence to Ireland in the form of a "hybrid" international that combined the idiocy of professional AFL with the athletic prowess of amatuer gaelic football, the series now appears to be abandoned after complaints of violence and thuggery both on and off the field from the Irish. (search "Fevola assaults Irish barman", of course he apparently assaulted him after standing at the bar spitting into a pile of a teammates fresh vomit, did I mention they are all class?)

The governing body has made the wise decision of contracting media outlets to provide "favourable coverage" which is why it's mindless band of supporters seem to believe it to be an unstoppable force that will over-run world sport, unfortunately for them the reality is that it's taken over 100 years to gain any level of support from more than 1/2 of Australias population (NSW & QLD), and that is on the back of the mass migration of Victorians to the Northern states.

Also known as aerial ping-pong, forcings-back, fagball, gAyFL, AwFuL and the Australian Felon League. It is the only sport that rewards mediocrity by awarding points for missing a shot at goal.
AwFuL supporter - Did you watch the footy?

Normal Human - Sure did, did you see Benjis try?

AwFuL supporter - No, I mean AFL.......Australian Rules Football

Normal Human - Why would I watch that rubbish, are you trying to imply I'm gay? Or some sort of criminal groupie? I would never follow that tripe, now remove yourself from my sight and return to whatever hole you crawled out of.

Australian rocket science

Manual labor, especially any kind of digging. So called because Australians are also known as "diggers" and the implication that they are not very smart.
If you do not finish high school, you will end up doing Australian rocket science for a living.

Australian Scarlet Woman 

Where two guys go at it and one of them bites off the tip of the other guy's penis.
Dustin: Let's do the Australian Scarlet Woman.

Bryce: Okay, what is tha-AAAAAAAAAAGH WHAT THE FUCK?!

Dustin: That's the Australian Scarlet Woman.

Australian National University 

A university created by the federal government in 1946 located in Canberra, Australia.Has a quite large campus with lots of nice trees and big concrete balls on the ground.According to the Times it's ranked 16th in the world (the first in Australia), thereby making it the best university in Australia. A somewhat rival is the University of Canberra. Has a good reputation, but still a bit... iffy. Abbreviated to 'ANU'. This leads to many hilarious acronyms and abbreviations (for example: "Australian National University Student" become "ANUS").
Dude #1: "Hey dude, what uni do you go to?"
Dude #2: "The Australian National University."
Dude #1: "Awesome."
Dude #2: "Yeah, better than UC."
Dude #1: "Hey, I go to UC!"
Dude #2: "Awesome."