Wanking

The act or the art of jerking off but the word sounds cool so I can just say I'm wanking instead of saying I'm jerking off

Wanking
Hey Michael is wanking right now

by Ligmafatnuts October 6, 2020

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

wanking claw

Deformed hand used primarily for wanking. Can be used in many jokes.

Damian: What is happening over there
Thomas Kiely: Nothing, im just itchy
Everyone: No, He's masterbating
Louis: Wanking Claw!

by Tyler Williams June 18, 2006

Wanking Claw

A deformed hand, caused by a near endless amount of masturbation. All that wanking causes the subjects hand to shape into a claw-like entity that forms perfectly around penis shaped objects.

John: Eh Wayne, you holdin' an invisible water bottle?
Wayne: Nay John, thats my wanking claw.
John: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thats knarly gross!
Wayne: Aye, I was up till 8 this morning tryin to pitch one off.
John: Yikes.... well from the looks of that claw you've got one awful small wee-wee.
Wayne: (sighs)Aye... well I'm off to the loo.
John: To do what?
Wayne: (holding claw) What do you think?

by Martyn with a 'y' bitches May 8, 2008

Wanging

To be ruthlessly trolled, roasted or all around humiliated online

Damn, you just got a Wanging!

by Wang Hangslo October 5, 2018

wanking his dog

when a boys fucking about and not doing what he supposed to

that fucking tosser was supposed to clean my shoes but instead he was away wanking his dog

by mattygers May 4, 2009

Wanking

Developed in support of the Anti-Planking Movement. It is the act of smearing one's sweaty cock on any surface that is known as a common area for planking. This method is used to prevent planking on these surfaces, and if fails to do so is done in hopes that a planker will use his/her mouth on these surfaces while planking. It was developed by Anti-Planking leader, Drew the Wanker.

He was wanking on the row of gum ball machines because he hates hipster douchebags planking on them. He is a true patriot.

by Drew182 July 21, 2011