Sad Trumpet

the act of slowly masurbating while staring into a mirror and crying.

The man was feeling particularly depressed wednesday, when his wife caught him doing the sad trumpet in the living room. Wearing nothing but his socks, he slowly tugged one out while staring at himself full length mirror. Dejected tears rolled slowly down his cheeks to the sound of TAPS playing quietly in the background.

by z0mbieparade November 14, 2013

Monkey Trumpet

Blowing into ones butthole

The girl from the bar last night let me give her a monkey trumpet

by Seeryulz May 16, 2020

Morning Trumpet

Releasing exceptionally loud, melodic morning flatulence after gaseous build up during overnight slumber.

No need for an alarm clock, my roommate will wake the whole house playing the morning trumpet.

After a 2 am Taco Bell stop, I passed out and woke up blaring the morning trumpet.

by Dick Onchin October 29, 2020

Cinnamon Trumpet

The brown wind instrument between your buttcheeks, found just below the gleavage. Can produce many beautiful notes if expertly controlled.

I shouldn't have had that White Castle earlier, now I can't stop playing the cinnamon trumpet.

by James Hutchinson March 4, 2008

Meat Trumpets

A ceremonial horn used to celebrate the beginning of the traditional weekly feast. The feast occurs every Friday, which is considered the holiest day of the week on the Five Guys calendar. Much like the sleigh bell from the Polar Express, only those who truly believe can actually hear its sweet, meaty song.

It's Friday and I'm starving, I think I hear the Meat Trumpets from across dupont circle!

by step-hoe July 31, 2009

butt trumpet

thunderous flatulence

the butt trumpets heralded the arrival of the chocolate thunder god, Flatular!!

by dukey February 16, 2004

Mustache Trumpet Man

That guy on the trumpet music book who wants to "entice" you with his trumpet music.
He will say that his 'trumpet' is big, but its not.

P: "Hey guys, let's look at all these books!"
B: "What's this one"
J: "OMAGOSH, IT'S A CREEPY MUSTACHE TRUMPET MAN!!!!!!!!!1"
P: "It looks kinda like my dad"

Everyone stare at P

by AwesomeSexyPants December 7, 2011