crying lawyer

crying lawyer is a snargle bush who is in need of a shower. not just a quick rinse, but a deep clean. its body odor can be smelt all the way from China and anyone within 50 centimeters will most likely pass out from its armpit stink. the nasal passages are filled with treasures and when you sit next to it in English, you tend to go crazy listening to the constant sniffles. when it talks, it sounds so congested and nasaly that you'll probably want to rip your ears out. its big, brown moles are filled with black, greasy hairs and don't get me started on the umbrella bird hairstyle its got going on. the snargle bush lives on a farm and it really shows through its personal hygiene. don't be alarmed if the snargle bush asks you trivia questions. mostly likely you can just ignore it and it'll go away. to live a snargle bush free life, simply buy your own can of snargle bush repellent today. call 1-800-snarglebushfree or forever live your life drowning in its BO.
"That crying lawyer wears the same swim sweatshirt everyday and never gets washed"
by fhdxhtsxvhfccjjjv March 02, 2016
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Side lawyer

When you’ve got a steady attorney but then you get one on the side. Like when a dude has a girlfriend and a side bitch. The side lawyer is cheaper, potentially a little ghetto, but always loyal.
“I’m gonna keep using my uncle’s attorney to manage his estate but I got myself a side lawyer.”
by Julactus October 02, 2018
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Lawyer-Style

The act of owning someone in an argument by using lines that are commonly used in a court case. Usually used when someone asks you a question you don't want to answer. This act usually results in your opponent shutting up for good.
Bob: Hey, dude, I heard you were talking about me in the locker room.

John: I wasn't talking about you.

Bob: Seriously, John, what the hell were you talking about? I know it was about me.

John: I plead silence regarding this point of the testimony.

Bob: Wait, what?

John: I stand by my right to remain silent.

Bob: What the hell are you talking about?!

John: You may not accuse the witness of a crime unless you have decisive evidence to back up your claim.

Bob: Dude, you've lost me. What is this stupid crap you're giving me?!

John: The prosecutor may not badger the witness and ask them questions irrelevant to the topic being suggested right now.

Bob: Huh?

John: OBJECTION!!!

Bob: ...

John: ...YOU GOT OWNED...LAWYER-STYLE!!!
by O B J E C T I O N April 10, 2009
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Lawyer Ball

The practice of finding and abusing loopholes in written and spoken contracts. Used mainly by lawyers, in court and in everyday life.
Spoken Contract by Lawyer: If the iPhone comes out at Macworld I will buy you one

Person: Umm, ok, Steve announced the iPhone. You'll buy me one when it comes out in June, right?

Lawyer: No, in fact, I said if the iPhone COMES OUT at macworld i'd buy you one, which it didn't, so therefore I am in no way obligated to purchase said phone for you.

Person: Come on, quit playing Lawyer Ball
by KeatonTech March 30, 2008
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devil's lawyer

One who argues against a popular and politically correct cause or position, as a committed opponent, to convince people to reconsider their views.
-Daniel just made a post talking shit about all the refuges from Syria, saying they shouldn't come here.

-Yeah, but you know he's the devil's lawyer.
by mod3 November 27, 2015
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Lawyer Army

What a startup software company will be required to have if patent trolls take over the USPTO if they have not already.
Michael: "Dude, your software program made over 10 million bucks! What are you going to do with that cash?"

Rob: "Nothing, I barely made any cash for myself since I had to pay for our 1,000 man lawyer army. Lodsys and SCO have already sued us, but I think we can win this time."
by Calicycling June 01, 2011
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Trial Lawyer

The misleading term for public defence attorney used by Republicans to indirectly attack Democrats. They are said to be ambulance chasers; they will sue if an individual or group of individuals commits an act which is unethical or illegal.
Insurance companies would never pay anyone a dime if it weren't for public defence attorneys.
by ChickenFriedKitten July 26, 2004
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