Alternative NNN Calendar

Jack-off January
Fuck-time February
Masturbating March
Anal April
Moaning May
Jizzing June
Juicy July
Ate-out August
Sucking September
Ovulating October
Nutting November
Dick-riding December

I am participating in Ate-out August instead of No Nut November this year.

Yo bro, you trying the Alternative NNN Calendar this year?
Of course bro, i am always up for a challenge.

by Delays April 15, 2024

The Law of the Calendar

The philosophy that because the first day of Spring is on March 21st, all winter weather must cease to exist.

Johnny: Wait, it's snowing in April??
Jack: C'mon weather, follow the Law of the Calendar!!!

by cstrong April 15, 2022

Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman

Initially created to avoid having to say the term "groomer" (or relative terms such as "grooming") aloud when in the company of people, or in a place where you'd rather not have people hear you talking of such a topic. Especially when it comes to discussing the topic to someone who is easily triggered by the initial subject.

"Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman" is a code-term to use in place of a "child groomer."

"Selling calendars" means to commit the act of grooming.
"Going door to door" means they're searching for minors to groom.
"Asking a minor for calendars or photos of their calendars" means they're asking a minor for illegal sexual favours, or for sexually explicit photos of said minor.

Person A: "Have you heard that Onision has been going door to door and selling calendars?"
Person B: "What the fuck is up with that? Selling calendars...He should go to prison for it."

by horsehorsehorse December 25, 2021

bobistic calendar

In the bobistic calendar, you don't have any past or future. Yesterday? What's that? Tomorrow? What's that? What I ate this morning? What's a morning? You just have the present. And the present is in the year 202030. When was Jesus born? Jesus is born at 202030. When are the next elections? In 202030. What was the previous year? It was 202030. Next Year? Thats also 202030. Yesterday, tomorrow, next week? None of them exists. Only 202030.

The bobistic calendar tells me that we are in 202030.

by fermentedcola December 26, 2024

Calendar diving

Using shared Outlook calendars to snoop on co-workers or your manager.

Joe discovered there were going to be more lay-offs by doing a little calendar diving in the CFO's Outlook calendar.

by Beaten down software developer October 16, 2008

Calendar Mood

In the mood to be productive, whilst sitting in a chair doing nothing

I'm really in a calendar mood right now!

by Schnorppe October 1, 2023

Advent Calendar

A special calendar used to count down the days to Christmas, starting on December 1st and ending on December 24th.

Siena Raponi is just like an advent calendar. Every day you’re around her you’ll find something you love more.

by joecrenshaw November 28, 2025