Skip to main content

absolutely

The one word that will get your boss / parent / authority figure to give you the "deer in headlights" look and leave you alone. Regardless of what is being discussed; i.e. 1)drawn out over explained instructions on how to do a simple task 2) Typical Parental Lecture 3)"Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?" situations.

Instructions On Use: Step One - Wait For Pause In
Assailents Ranting
Step Two - Make Convincing And Direct
Eye Contact
Step Three - Say "Absolutely Boss, Dad
, Officer, Etc."
Step Four - Walk Away And Proceed Going
About Your Business
BOSS: "Hey (your name) Im glad I found you. Look Ive got a
bit of a situation. You see Tim was sick today, and
that means that his typical collateral duties of
emptying the trash in the managers office hasnt
been completed. I know you know how big an issue
this is. I mean wow if I could just get you to..."

YOU: "Absolutely" (remember to lock eyes and put on your
best "Im not stupid" face)

BOSS: .............

YOU: (proceed to carry on about your business as if nothing
happened)
by Odiumnox December 21, 2005
mugGet the absolutely mug.

absolution

Third album by the British band MUSE considered by many to be their best. Considered by others to be highly overrated. Still one hell of an album.
I just bought Absolution.
by RavenousPlant April 15, 2006
mugGet the absolution mug.

Absolute Unit

A person or object, who is large in the sense nothing can get in their way.
e.g. Martin Najemi
Oh, Look over at Martin Najemi, That absolute unit just barged through that crowd!
by AbsoluteUnit999 February 11, 2020
mugGet the Absolute Unit mug.

What the absolute fuck?

When "What the fuck?" isnt sufficiently exasperated enough, "What the absolute fuck" is used.

Same as "What the actual fuck?" except more localized in New Zealand.
John: What the absolute fuck is Jim doing?
Dave: I have no idea man

Jim: Hey Mike someone shat in your shower bro
Mike: What the absolute fuck?

John: Man this is badly organized...
Jim: Yeah I have no idea what the absolute fuck is going on.
by BloodBomb January 5, 2011
mugGet the What the absolute fuck? mug.

Absolute idiot

Someone who puts the milk in before the cereal.
Paul is an absolute idiot. You're supposed to put the cereal in before the milk.
mugGet the Absolute idiot mug.

absofrickinlutely

1. a reinforced expression of "absolutely"
2. expression of unquestionable doubt
1. "That chick is absofrickinlutely amazing that I want to jump her bones."

2. "You sure that is the man in the photograph?" "Absofrickinlutely!"
by weakspirit March 20, 2003
mugGet the absofrickinlutely mug.

absolutelybangable

completley uderly BANGABLE, like stop you on the street bangable.
Wow my boyfriend is absolutelybangable!!
by your hott sex turns me on! February 17, 2008
mugGet the absolutelybangable mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email