almond joy

When a guy shits on a girls chest, rubs her tits in it, and then proceeds to clip his toe nails into the feces.

"Hey bob, I gave you're wife an almond joy last night"

by Jon and barry October 27, 2006

almond-joy

When a person changes the game on you. When a person "flips the script".
After a constant and profuse malevolent activity, the person changes, for no apparent reason.

"Say white boy, ima tel ya bout da game, and why you cant eva neva eva trust a crackhead"
"All right my friend" Please explain"
"Almond joy, dats all ya need to know"
"Almond joy??" *bewildered, glazed over look*
"Dat's right, gotdam cracka, ALMOND JOY!" "Cuz you neva know what a mufuka basehead guna do" "Sumtimz dey feel lika nut, sumtims dey dont, Ya heard?!"

by Saltine Cracker August 9, 2004

Almond Mom

a karen mom who only eats almonds, as soon as you walk into her house all there is, is almond based everything, its like a crazy vegan karen bt they only eat almonds and only drink almond water and milk

Friend: "Why do you only ever eat almonds and drink almond milk?"
Kid: "Because that's all my mom lets me have"
Friend: "Dang, that must suck having a crazy almond mom"
Kid: "Yeah, it does"

by Lettuce_Lady October 23, 2022

Soggy Almond

Lesbian slang for a clit that has been given copious attention orally.

Since she took such great care of me last night I woke her up with a soggy almond

by cross-cross stitch May 28, 2020

Almond Joy

When a man has diarrhea and it covers his testicals. He can let it dry on his testicals and then let someone lick it off.
Female version of this is a "Mounds"

Jeff had the shits all day, so when I got home he gave me an almond joy.

by malcum ex November 22, 2010

almond breezed

After eating a copious amount of almonds, farting into a person's face during sex.

Dude, last night was awesome, my girl almond breezed me!

by PotatoOle May 24, 2010

almond joy

a person who is only attractive sometimes.

John Mayer is an almond joy.

by meagan and jenn April 25, 2005