Tape Jesus

A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.

Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.

by Tape Jesus’s Secretary December 22, 2018

Jesus butthole

What some dogs have. The two calics on each thigh are the hands and the butthole is the head. If you look at it closely, it kind of looks like Jesus at the last supper.

"My dog's got a Jesus butthole!"

by ahumanbeingwhoisaperson December 3, 2020

Jesus Juicer

A person obsessed with making organic fruit juice to sell at stands near children's schools. He spends hours obsessively manufacturing sweet fruit juices, in order to get the little kids hooked on it, so he can make money to support his religious causes.

How does Jimmy contribute so much to our church? Didn't you hear? He's a Jesus Juicer.

"Mommy, why does that guy always sell juice at that stand near out school?" "Darling, you stay away from him! He's a bad Jesus Juicer".

by SultrySloth April 22, 2019

african jesus

A Black holy spirit named after a holy god Jesus

Damn that black african jesus is cute

by YJHR June 16, 2017

Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'

Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style

by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009

porcelain jesus

Any toilet in which one part takes in excretion.

Ex.

To shit or piss
To throw up

Fuck , did you see Rihanna sucking Charlie Sheens cock on the porcelain jesus? Dude got a blumpkin! LEGENDARY!

by PattyCakes May 3, 2018

beach jesus

That guy with jesus like hair found on the beach always without a shirt. He is seen commonly fishing or walking the beach without a shirt on. Always has beer, and always offers one to you.

Guy 1: Did you see Beach Jesus there today on the beach?
Guy 2: Yeah he gave me a beer and showed me where the babes hang out.

by Zc33 May 8, 2018