n.
Synonyms: Case, Hell, Nerd's Xanadu, pit of despair from which you shall never escape
Case Western Reserve University, formerly known to students as CWRU (pronounced "crew") and now called by the administration-enforced moniker "Case", is a small engineering and science oriented college in the ghettos of Cleveland, Ohio. This insidious institution lures prospective students with promises of graduation within four years and well-paying jobs soon after.
Once these new students arrive, they quickly realize the truth. Segregated in the “North Residential Village”, a desolate collection of rundown dorms far from the center of campus, freshmen are confronted with the complete lack of campus activities and the sheer tedium of day to day existence. Surrounded by introverted computer geeks who seem on the verge of spontaneous combustion every time the sun appears and uniformly unattractive members of the opposite sex, students quickly turn to Case’s high speed computer network for solace. Here some freshmen have been known to download multiple gigabytes of pornography while simultaneously maxing out their bandwidth allotments.
Once the academic year begins in earnest, things only continue in their downward spiral. Apathetic professors and incompetent TAs pile mind numbing amounts of work on their students, quickly reducing them to burnt-out husks of their former selves. In response, some overachieving students have resorted to unabashed ass kissing to maintain their grades, while the most intelligent students leave Case at their earliest opportunity. Those who remain become malleable zombies ideal for low wage labor in Case’s many “student employment” positions. Tests are difficult at Case, and after finals the near-suicidal students stumble home looking for work to replenish their tuition-depleted bank accounts.
Unfortunately for upperclassmen, matters do not improve in subsequent years. Classes get harder, life gets duller, and hair gets thinner. Ulcers eat away at students as caffeine intake is increased to cope with the larger workload.
Let this be a warning to any prospective students who are considering Case Western Reserve University. Turn back now and choose a better school, before it is too late…
Synonyms: Case, Hell, Nerd's Xanadu, pit of despair from which you shall never escape
Case Western Reserve University, formerly known to students as CWRU (pronounced "crew") and now called by the administration-enforced moniker "Case", is a small engineering and science oriented college in the ghettos of Cleveland, Ohio. This insidious institution lures prospective students with promises of graduation within four years and well-paying jobs soon after.
Once these new students arrive, they quickly realize the truth. Segregated in the “North Residential Village”, a desolate collection of rundown dorms far from the center of campus, freshmen are confronted with the complete lack of campus activities and the sheer tedium of day to day existence. Surrounded by introverted computer geeks who seem on the verge of spontaneous combustion every time the sun appears and uniformly unattractive members of the opposite sex, students quickly turn to Case’s high speed computer network for solace. Here some freshmen have been known to download multiple gigabytes of pornography while simultaneously maxing out their bandwidth allotments.
Once the academic year begins in earnest, things only continue in their downward spiral. Apathetic professors and incompetent TAs pile mind numbing amounts of work on their students, quickly reducing them to burnt-out husks of their former selves. In response, some overachieving students have resorted to unabashed ass kissing to maintain their grades, while the most intelligent students leave Case at their earliest opportunity. Those who remain become malleable zombies ideal for low wage labor in Case’s many “student employment” positions. Tests are difficult at Case, and after finals the near-suicidal students stumble home looking for work to replenish their tuition-depleted bank accounts.
Unfortunately for upperclassmen, matters do not improve in subsequent years. Classes get harder, life gets duller, and hair gets thinner. Ulcers eat away at students as caffeine intake is increased to cope with the larger workload.
Let this be a warning to any prospective students who are considering Case Western Reserve University. Turn back now and choose a better school, before it is too late…
Overheard on the Case Quad:
You think you've had it rough? You have no idea what I did with Prof. XXXXXXX for my math grade!
You think you've had it rough? You have no idea what I did with Prof. XXXXXXX for my math grade!
by A Jaded Case Student January 8, 2005
Get the Case Western Reserve University mug.A smaller University located in Worcester, Massachusetts that prides itself on diversity. Formerly an all girls college and the only American college visited by Sigmund Freud. The University is widely known for its psychology program. The diversity of the school comes in many forms such as the amount of international students, faiths/religions, clubs, and ideologies. Clark promotes acceptance and tolerance more so than anything else.
by <Neil Diamond> November 27, 2011
Get the Clark University mug.Related Words
Old Dominion University is where people with class work their way to becoming top notch at their jobs and in their life. Those who graduate from ODU, and who worked hard during their time there, will become the future leaders of America.
Old Dominion University students and alumni have pride in each step they take and decision they make.
by Anonymous Fraternity Man November 9, 2010
Get the Old Dominion University mug.Don't go to VU (Vincennes University) or you'll lose every last cent you have, so you can find out later that the administration office is using your money to go on vacation!!!!!
OR
At VU, your child will get mugged by the ignorant hordes who think their gangsta!!!!
OR
At VU, your child will get mugged by the ignorant hordes who think their gangsta!!!!
by irishhell414 September 26, 2006
Get the VU (Vincennes University) mug.One of the most selective and prestigous universities in the world. Ranked top 5 in the nation by US Newsweek. Famous for its men's basketball team and academic reputation. Notorious for the lacrosse scandle and low racial interaction. Filled with school spirit, rich new england jocks and lots of alcohol.
by fujifilms May 30, 2006
Get the duke university mug.The University of Wisconsin Madison is a public university in Madison, WI. It is generally known for its excellent Engineering and Business Programs, both of which are rated highly by both the Princeton Review and US News. UW-Madison also has excellent science programs, including Physics, Chemistry, and Biology. It is the flagship school of the UW system, as it usually refers to itself as "Wisconsin" (see wisc.edu, or the newly named "Wisconsin School of Business) and generally bashed by those who cannot get in. With its student population of roughly 41,000, it is one of the largest public universities in the US. The campus is located in downtown Madison, bordering Lake Mendota. Home to such progressives as Robert La Follette, and also due to its vast number of protests in the Vietnam War era, the city, including the university, has gained a reputation as being a hotbed of liberalism, which makes it a very awesome place. All in all, its a "public ivy", and thus you have to work very hard, but actually get a degree thats worth something. Also, there is a bit of partying between the constant barrage of papers and tests, thus giving Madison its legendary status.
Person A: "The University of Wisconsin Madison is a really shitty school"
Person B: "You're just saying that because you couldn't get into Madison."
Person A: "No i'm not"
(Day before)
Person A: "Oh, I got a rejection letter from Madison. Well, it looks like i'm going to Parkside."
(New Student at Madison)
New Student: "What the f**k is that thing?"
Not Noob: "That is Mosse Humanities. The most polarizing building on campus."
New Student: "Doesn't it look like a futuristic fortress from a 1960's film?"
Not Noob: "Yes, yes it does."
"Yay, I got a Business or Engineering degree from UW. I'm going to be very rich/powerful very soon. Bow."
Person B: "You're just saying that because you couldn't get into Madison."
Person A: "No i'm not"
(Day before)
Person A: "Oh, I got a rejection letter from Madison. Well, it looks like i'm going to Parkside."
(New Student at Madison)
New Student: "What the f**k is that thing?"
Not Noob: "That is Mosse Humanities. The most polarizing building on campus."
New Student: "Doesn't it look like a futuristic fortress from a 1960's film?"
Not Noob: "Yes, yes it does."
"Yay, I got a Business or Engineering degree from UW. I'm going to be very rich/powerful very soon. Bow."
by TheDictionKing January 8, 2009
Get the University of Wisconsin Madison mug.School with all the prestige of an Ivy, yet with the California climate, girls, and open-mindedness.
by Hmmm July 3, 2004
Get the Stanford University mug.