Original John

(verb) To drink bourbon and smoke a pipe while playing monopoly. Usually includes sorting opposing players into Hogwarts Houses.

"Hey you guys want to go out tonight, drink some vodka and try to pick up girls at The Club?"

"Definitely not, let's Original John it tonight."

by Mayja Layza April 23, 2013

futon john

A douche that likes to remind every person he meets that he was conceived on a futon.

Kid 1: "Have you met Futon John?"

Kid 2: "No, but I heard he was a douche."

Kid 3: "I heard he was conceived on a futon."

Kid 1: "I wish I was conceived on a futon."

by Dubya14 November 25, 2013

Lawn John

A rare scenerio in which a neighbor plants flowers in a toilet bowl outside of their house for decoration and someone goes over (typically after midnight) to defacate uncontrollably in it for the homeowner to find it the next day.

see also: lawn John silver, flower plop, a steamy Brian, fertile terdle, house warming gift, midnight special.

"Man, that guy is a legend! He executed the rare Lawn John last night!"

by sneakyle June 21, 2017

mary john

the oral act of eating a pot brownie out of ones anus.

“wait robert you guys have been dating for 4 months and you haven’t mary johned yet?”

by wobert r January 6, 2018

ty’john

A good looking light skin/Brown skinned man that will steal your heart. They are more loyal then most of these men out here and knows how to treat woman right. They are also better in bed and amazing kissers.

You need a Ty’John in your life they are loyal.

by Boss man 314 January 17, 2018

dear john nigga

A nigga usually filled with strong emotions , usually express these feelings towards women and might have developed these emotions through a heartbreak. These people usually respect women and show all their feelings too quickly through which ends up in a nigga being played , symptoms show through strongly depressed , anti-social, posting feelings through social media about wishing they could find love. Dear John niggas are usually looked down upon or made fun of.

Damn David is acting different again , he’s being a “Dear John nigga”.

by Sadnibbas June 13, 2018

Thanos John Wick

When a woman goes 'sex-crazy' and starts Thanos default dancing on the bed and wanting to shove a replica of the infinity gauntlet/Thanos car up their partner's ass before putting the John Wick DVD on repeat and waiting until the club scene plays, therefore making the intercourse more intense.

He was still hurting after his girl did the old 'Thanos John Wick' on him last night.

by saugen September 26, 2018