Johned

A term frequently used in Norse mythology dating back to the age of Thrain. It was said that one could only become Johned if they were truly two Peters. The equation of 2 peters equaling a John is still highly challenged in certain academic circles.

- I was so Johned last night I became a Peter.

by 2 Peters = John September 19, 2015

Johned

Very strong, huge muscles.

Look at his muscles! He looks johned!

by Philad February 1, 2010

johned

tryign to cut in line by yelling out the name john like you are looking for someone but really you are jsut cutting in line

ima john my way up to the front

damn man those kids just johned the whole line

by R()$$ April 24, 2004

Johned

Getting scissors shoved up your nose paintfully and slowly getting nose hair pulled out.

Child: "Hey dude, my dad's brother got Johned yesterday."
Other child: "lmao epic"

by Mr. Fat nose idiot February 12, 2020

Johned

When someone orders food but that someone isn't there in time to pick it up.

"Goosh, I really Johned that pizza, didn't I?"

by Einerstürmf December 13, 2016

Johned

To mess up frequently in cases particularity to spelling, grammar, and attracting females.

Guy #1: Look at that guy, he just got denied by that girl.
Guy #2: Ya, he totally johned up.

by Monica Marcone April 6, 2017

Johned

To be completely and utterly obliterated, typically by way of an incredibly forceful skull fucking.

Holy shit man, Eric just got fucking Johned into pink mist!

Person #1: Did you see that Johnning last night?
Person #2: Yeah dude, I haven't seen somebody get Johned like that since Brad got his eyeball ripped out and the empty socket fucked with a 12-incher.

by SleepySap May 8, 2017