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It's not you, it's me

A lie. Just be honest and say "I'm not attracted to you" like dayum. The whole "It's not me, it's you" bullshit is so overused and I've heard it all before, so if I get in a relationship with anyone and they say that as to why they broke up with me, don't fucking bother. It's an insult to my intelligence and I know that's not the reason. Have some fucking integrity ffs.
by UltimateDoge January 7, 2025
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You don’t hear me preaching on a Sunday

When you tell someone that something is a bad idea, they don’t believe you, and still do it anyways. The equivalent of “I told you so.”
Me: “We probably shouldn’t do anal.”
Us: *do anal
Wife: “Great, there’s shit on the comforter.”
Me: “Yeah, I knew this would happen, but you don’t hear me preaching on a Sunday.”
by The Griddler1 January 8, 2025
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slap me down and fuck me

1. The name of a drink in a Spanish Restaurant
2. Something you can ask when you are horny.
1. Un slap me down and fuck me por favor?
-Seguro.
2. Slap me down and fuck me
- Of course.
by randomegg January 9, 2025
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show me the banana

when you're so hot you're hurting someone's feelings
person a: "oh my god, i hope he doesn't send me photos. that'll make it worse."

person b: "right? like, show me the banana."
by poosaigh January 9, 2025
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has me jare

person 1: hey man
person 2: Ooo, has me jare where have you been
by romanojare January 12, 2025
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I got that dog in me

When you get mounted by a dog and the red rocket goes in….and in an effort to save face, you try to act tough and start barking and grunting like a giga chad.
Dog: Woof! Woof! I’m gonna mount that man!

Nik: Oh no, not again!

Innocent bystander: Bro that dog is inside you!

Nik: (Obviously embarrassed) Arf! Arf! I got that dog in me! Get on my level!
by DarkCoffee January 12, 2025
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Cry me a river so I can swim away

Exaggerated way to show disinterest in a subject that somebody cares deeply about
Person A: "My favorite tv show is cancelled"
Person B: "Cry me a river so I can swim away"
by KnashKash January 13, 2025
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