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potato bonus 

Refers to the tasty spud-chunks that are included in canned mixed vegetables, as opposed to frozen bags of them that only contain the "standard five" garden-delights (peas, green beans, carrots, corn, and green lima beans).
Canned mixed vegetables are indeed blessed with a potato bonus, are pre-cooked and ready-to-eat, and do not require refrigeration till opened, but there are drawbacks to them when compared to just the frozen kind: they may cost more per ounce (i.e., over a buck for a 15-ounce can as opposed to maybe two bucks for a two-pound cello-bag; there is considerably less than the stated weight of solid veggies in the can, also, since a lot of the product's volume is made up of the broth that they're cooked in), they are often excessively salty, and they aren't usually so robust-flavored as the freshly-cooked fare you'd get from stewing up a frozen bag of them yourself, either.
potato bonus by QuacksO March 3, 2019
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Potato Constant 

As defined by the relative speed of the YouTube loading bar. (Which is obsurdly slow). The potato constant defines the maximum velocity a potato will move at when in a race against other potatoes. This is derived from its motivation and will to live.
YouTube’s algorithms use the potato constant to decide if that video you wish to watch will In fact load.

The potato will always win a race against a rock because the potato constant is larger than that of the rock.

LINDA IS DISOBEYING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS. THE POTATO CAN NOT GO ANY FASTER!

Potato Headed Mongoose 

A potato headed Mongoose is a person so stupid that whenever they talk it causes of chemical reactions to occur in the brain that instantly result in immediate pain, occurring in the pressure points all throughout the body. You can easily track down these people on their Visco-wannabe Instagram accounts that they made without their parent's permission so that whenever they look at their phone, they must delete the app. In the real world, they are often found in the back of classrooms or at the school canteen, talking loudly and thinking that they are cool when, in fact, they are the total opposite. The potato headed Mongoose are found often wearing clothes from retail stores such as Supré, where whenever they shop there, they receive many raised eyebrows as they purchase clothes that are well beyond their visual years. These people are most often female, have not gotten their first period yet act like they do, and receive the kids menu whenever they go to restaurants even when they're teenaged.
Potato Headed Mongoose: OMG, did you see what Stacey posted on Insta? SO NOT OG!
Literally everyone else in the room: SHUT UP YOU POTATO HEADED MONGOOSE

Potato friend 

1. A trifling person who acts like a friend, but instead shills their smelly oils and MLM based products down your throat.
2. A friend that retrieves potatoes.
Susan and Karen make the perfect pair of potato friends.
Potato friend by Ohmygollywolly October 7, 2019

Potato Day 

Every last Thursday is potato day, that means you have to eat something made of potato.

November the 9 (09.11) is the holiest day for the potato. Where you have to eat or drink (vodka) for every meal.
Bro 1: You got the vodka?
Bro 2: Yes of course it’s potato day!

potato john 

Potato john is a immortal who will appear in times of crisis in various forms but always has a goatee and a curly mustache refering to himself as potato john, johnson, or johnny

If you ever meet potato john prepare for the worst
There he was, standing in the field, potato john. Staring into the distance just to disapear seconds before the earthquake hit.
potato john by Spudlord November 12, 2019

Potato Painter

A potato painter is a residential or commercial painter without experience. They are a danger to themselves, and those around them. Their business’s are based on lies. Potato painters are typically self taught, and didn’t serve as an apprentice prior to starting a business.
Look, another Idaho painter wannabe, fucking potato painter scum!