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To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)
"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"
by anonymous January 14, 2021
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Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.
Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.
by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022
mugGet the Masturbatingmug.

Multi-Masturbation March

A proposed internet challenge which takes place in the month of March. On the 1st, participants would wank one time, and on the 2nd, they would wank two times, multiplying the times they wanked the day before by two. They would go so on, until they wank over 1.07 billion times on March 31st.
A: "Man, my arm is so tired after Destroy Dick December..."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."
by potatoman- August 31, 2025
mugGet the Multi-Masturbation Marchmug.

Mega Masturbation Mars

Its after Finger Free February and its the same ass Destroy Dick December but Mega Masturbation Mars is for girls
Girl 1:Are you going to do Mega Masturbation Mars?
Girl 2:Yes
by NiceForWhat November 2, 2019
mugGet the Mega Masturbation Marsmug.

whiteboard masturbation

A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.

This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.

While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
by Aequitosh February 28, 2024
mugGet the whiteboard masturbationmug.

Masturbating

Im masturbating to your mum on pornhub
by Wankingking March 5, 2023
mugGet the Masturbatingmug.

Masturbe

When someone is masturbating a associate charges in and interrupts the session.
Rob was looking for some safety scissors and accidentally became the masturbe to Phil's trip to pound town.
by Jordanmlat April 6, 2021
mugGet the Masturbemug.

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