Masturbating

What you’re doing right now.

People masturbating make up most of Urban Dictionary’s traffic. In fact, probably the entire internet’s traffic in general.

by Your pseudonym :3 September 20, 2023

masturbation betrayal

When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.

David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat”
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”

by Spittingstraightfacts January 2, 2020

masturbation meditation

A deep state of mind that allows you to cum with nothing touching your dick/vagina.

Masturbation meditation

by Reagulayte January 3, 2020

Masturbate

What the fuck is wrong with you jackoffs get a girlfriend already

I masturbate because im lonely

by 5Skin not 4Skin January 9, 2020

masturbate

To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.

"yo bro pp work does yours?"

"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"

"grandma room she in is?"

"no course of not is she what?!"

"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"

by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020

Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.

Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.

by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020

masturbed

the feeling of being disturbed while walking in on someone masturbating

just walked in on trevor beating his meat, i’m masturbed.

by anonymous July 19, 2022