FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL IS THE MOST MANLIEST FUCKING SPORT EVER! EVERYTIME A PLAYER CATCHES A FOOTBALL, IT MAKES YOU SHIT YOUR PAAANTS! EVERY THURSDAY, SUNDAY AND EVEN MANLY MONDAY! THERE IS A NEW GAME IN THE ROUGH HOUSING BONANZA WE CALL FOOTBALL! AAAAAAAHHHHH, I FEEL THE ADRENALINE FROM JUST TALKING ABOUT FUCKING FOOTBALL! POP OPEN YOUR TOSTITOS AND BEERS MEN BECAUSE FOOTBALL IS THE SHIT!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WOMEN CAN LIKE FOOTBALL TOO! UUUUUUUUUUUH YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

FOOTBALLKING IS OUT!

MAN 1: HEY!
MAN 2: WHAT?!?
MAN 1: READY TO WATCH THE FOOTBALL GAME!
MAN 2: DAMN STRAIGHT!
MAN 1: WOOOOOOO-
MAN 2: WOOOOOOOOO
MAN 1: POP OPEN THOSE BUD LIGHTS!
MAN 2: OOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIT!!!

by Mariachi_Lobster December 2, 2021

Football

The first time I ever disappointed my parents.

"For Christ's sake, son! That's not how you play football!"

by CuteBoy56 June 14, 2019

Fantasy Football Snake

Fantasy football snakes are the lowest of the low. They are the guys who take advantage of drunken transactions and trick first-year players into making questionable trades, all for the betterment of their team.

Snake traders usually begin the fantasy football season strong, but shortly enough karma catches them and their team begins to dismantle until they fall just shy of playoffs.

Victim: "Hey man! What do you think about this trade Yusef convinced me on? I'll give him Darren Waller for one of his defenses and the starting kicker for the Bengals! Pretty good trade right?!"

Bystander: " Are you kidding me? That is a horrible trade. Do NOT take that trade. Geez... Yusef is such a fantasy football snake. I bet he's lurking the waiver wire too for drunken mistakes. Unreal!!"

by Hectorino November 26, 2021

OCONUS Football

Soccer outside of the USA. It helps to avoid confusion with American Football.

Was watching OCONUS football yesterday, Tottenham killed it!

by NewEnglandForLife September 27, 2021

Unknown Football Team Fan

A fan supporting either a crap team in the low-tier leagues or a private-owned football club or football academy.

Which team do you support?
Well, I am an Unknown Football Team Fan, so I have to say Cockhouse FC.
Bruv mate ur a Brexit geezer???

by w`aezsrdtfyvguhij8ghev May 10, 2023

maroon football

When an aggie tried brown town for the first time!

Can you believe that girl let me maroon football her!

by Be@rfucker August 14, 2023

Football bore

A football fan who follows you to the train station and won't shut up even though you clearly don't want to hear their opinion.

This football bore is talking bollocks.

by Middle aged rebel December 9, 2023