crap table

Refers to any debris-cluttered horizontal-topped item of furniture normally used for dining, writing/drawing, repairing/constructing, etc.

You can often tell the difference between a bachelor-pad and a couple/family-apartment simply by glancing around to observe how stuff is arranged --- if there's a lady in the house, everything will generally be neat and orderly, whereas a guy who lives alone will likely have at least one crap table where the flotsam and jetsam of typical everyday single-dude existence tends to gravitate to and then never see the light of day for months... he simply tosses his randomly-acquired tidbits there because at the time the items seem too precious/possibly-useful to discard, but then when he eventually has to rummage through his "treasures" to find some solitary item he put there six months ago, he face-palmingly wonders why he ever held onto most of the crap in the first place (extra points if he thought to drag over a wastebasket before beginning his "attack" on the pile).

by QuacksO February 5, 2018

Coffee Table Friend

A so-called friend that, just as coffee table books, is just for display and entertainment.

I didn't know you were friends with John!

Oh, no. He's just a coffee table friend.

by Yeovah's Ass March 27, 2020

Somerset Table

The state of being unable to kiss a partner due to the presence of poisonous or distasteful matter in the mouth.

Etymolyogically derived from a misunderstanding.

"Let me just go brush my teeth, bit of a somerset table up in the gob"

by Street Salami July 21, 2023

dime on the table

someone's button fly is open

hey mountain man, you got a dime on the table.

by dreezy kneezy February 12, 2009

pool table betty

some bitch that walks into a bar, grabs the wrisp of the nearest guy and leads him a pool table, strips completely naked and rides his cock then fucks another 10 to 15 guys with with the entire place watching

pool table Betty walked in the the bar and lead some random dude back to a table and fucked the shit out him and then took it in the ass from 10 more guys.

by alema March 23, 2008

Table

A thing to put your drank on and it usually has 4 legs even though it can't walk

let's drank at that table

by Slurp juice November 28, 2018

Table shamed

When visiting a trendy restaurant and the server clearly doesn't think you are worthy of seating together with trendy crowd and seats you far far away.

I was at NOBU last week and we got table shamed. I didn't even know they had a back room.

by gufpirat November 11, 2021