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Masturbating

Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*
by The master of masturbating November 16, 2020
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Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.
Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.
by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022
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masturbated

fucking yourself
i masturbated yesterday and I came so much
by cummer5000 May 22, 2023
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Audible Masturbation

Talking just to please yourself.
Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.
by Z_PW January 14, 2021
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To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)
"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"
by anonymous January 14, 2021
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Multi-Masturbation March

A proposed internet challenge which takes place in the month of March. On the 1st, participants would wank one time, and on the 2nd, they would wank two times, multiplying the times they wanked the day before by two. They would go so on, until they wank over 1.07 billion times on March 31st.
A: "Man, my arm is so tired after Destroy Dick December..."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."
by potatoman- August 31, 2025
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