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Amish Masturbate

To "Amish Masturbate" is to masturbate without the assistance of any modern technological advancements.
This means no screens, no porno, no vibrators, and no masturbatory aid of any kind.
Man, I've been watching too much porn lately. I think I'm going to exclusively Amish masturbate for a while.
by Epileptic Squirrel Rapist December 7, 2024
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Masturbating Mike Tyson

When a man’s penis is so long he has to assume the classic Mike Tyson peek-a-boo boxing stance — elbows tucked, fists up by his face — to reach it during masturbation. Typically involves a downward squat and intense focus, resembling a fighter preparing for battle… but for very different reasons.
“Bro, I caught Kyle in the bathroom doing the Masturbating Mike Tyson. Dude looked like he was about to throw hands with his own junk.”
by A Dude Booty Meat June 2, 2025
mugGet the Masturbating Mike Tysonmug.

Intellectual Masturbation

i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias
She spent her days in intellectual masturbation over the one that got away...
by BitchfinderGeneral March 5, 2024
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Oral masturbation

Oral masturbation is when I suck my own dick until I cum in my mouth
Once I found out I could suck my own dick I began to oral masturbate daily still do oral masturbation is using one's mouth to perform oral sex on themselves self-sucking auto fellatio oral masturbation
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Anti-Masturbation Cross

An anti-masturbation cross is a device used by wankerphobic Christians. It combines the cross with straps to keep people from the age of 5+ from masturbating. It should be ended to help end wankerphobia.
John's parents are going to buy an anti-masturbation cross. I'm praying for him. I think Seb may have tipped them off.
by A_Manwithhiv April 22, 2021
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Masturbating

What you were trying to do when your Mom caught you.
Chad were you masturbating?
No Mom my pants just slipped down and I was pulling them up!
by Squidbob October 12, 2021
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masturbated

fucking yourself
i masturbated yesterday and I came so much
by cummer5000 May 22, 2023
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