martian muff dive

The act of performing oral sex on a female while plastic straws are inserted into the nostrils of the 'performer' to allow for optimal breathing. This reduces the risk of the individual losing consciousness during the act.

"Hey guy, why you gotta nosebleed?"
"Me and the misses were in the middle of a martian muff dive and the straw got jammed in one of her rolls."

by bobbin frapples October 14, 2009

pickled muff cabbage

A Vagina that has been pissed in so it becomes pickled(like a cucumber in viniger)

Dude her pussy stank so bad i pissed at it and made some pickled muff cabbage for the next guy.

by QBR October 19, 2010

Gorilla Muff

A variety of the Power Muff, the Gorilla muff is the fullest of all female bushes. Not only does it cover all aspects of a woman’s lower erogenous zones, it grows downwards to cover the upper thighs, upwards to cover the stomach, and loops around the bottom to cover a portion of the ass. It is extremely burdensome to maintain and often comes full of dingleberries, turds of varying size, dried discharge and stale urine. Unlike the Powder Room Muff, wet wipes are insufficient with regard to cleaning up the fallout of anything go in or out of it. Keeping it clean requires bathing (not showering) in two separately drawn baths following any toileting, menstrual or sexual activity. Its owners largely belong to fundamental religious sects who know little about the grooming requirements for sex play in the modern world. However, it is apparently quite repellant to male members of these groups, who often replace these hair bearers with younger wives with less cumbersome bushes (see Upper Puff, Powder Room Muff). On the contrary, some sexual deviants who are marginalized by mainstream society revere the Gorilla Muff as the Bush of all Bush. These pervs love to lose themselves in the fecal-infested, piss-stained, dinglenapped bush that is the Gorilla Muff.

Vanessa might put out. But that trick carries more turds in her Gorilla Muff than a dirty litter box.

by Bebebox January 1, 2012

muff muncher

A person who enjoys eating out a hairy pussy.

I heard that guys a muff muncher. <I>Yea I can see the hair in his teeth from here.</I>

by SamtheGMR July 24, 2008

Muff Cabbage

It's a Jersey thing.

south park episode of "It's a Jersey thing."

Stan: ...What's Muff Cabbage?
Kyle: It's a...It's a Jersey Thing

by S3V October 16, 2010

Muff Spanker

(v.)

To aggressively slap a bitch's pussy when they are acting out of line.

A way to stop the bitch from complaining about bad sex.

Yeah bro, once I found out that Jeff Weaver had a mom, I gave that bitch a big muff spanking.

by Ryan Fuckass Fairy! April 15, 2005

muff muffin

A term derived from the latin word, "muffcake", but translated to english.
Short for your-stupid-and-you-think-you-know
-everything-but-
you-just-suck-at-life-and-need-to-die.

Can also be used in place of eff.(see examples)

"Andrew is the biggest muff muffin of life...fosh!"
or
"What the muff muffin are you doing?"

by ASHLE HARPER December 1, 2006