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masturbate

To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.
"yo bro pp work does yours?"

"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"

"grandma room she in is?"

"no course of not is she what?!"

"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"
by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020
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Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020
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Self-masturbation

1. When someone performs the act of masturbation on themselves.

2. When someone acts like an arrogant twat and tries to present themselves as being smarter, cooler or more important than they actually are, typically by being boastful and/or putting other people down.

This is most often seen online, but can also happen in real life.
1. John performed a little self-masturbation when he got home to relax.

2. Hank bragging about his supposedly high IQ and over-relying on five-dollar words came across as major self-masturbation in the YouTube comments section.
by TaxiFred November 18, 2023
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tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.
My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation
by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023
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Masturbation

The only thing that makes me feel alive.
Masturbation time!
by Hitmantheman February 1, 2024
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disagreement masturbation

The act of listening and/or watching news media and opinions you disagree with to enjoy the fact that you disagree with it.
Sarah the atheist liberal enjoys listening to fundamentalist conservative Christian radio stations because she likes disagreement masturbation.
by qwartwater February 1, 2024
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Masturbate

When you Stroke your Dick until you reach a orgasm and bust everywhere.
Micheal:yo bro don’t open my door Im masturbate In here.
Jayden: Okay bro do your thing don’t use all the lotion btw.
by Orly$anchez4lifebitch February 3, 2024
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