To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.
"yo bro pp work does yours?"
"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"
"grandma room she in is?"
"no course of not is she what?!"
"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"
"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"
"grandma room she in is?"
"no course of not is she what?!"
"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"
by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020
Get the masturbate mug.A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?
Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020
Get the Masturbate Theater mug.When you are a socially inep involuntarily celibate due to poor dating and social skills, and sees porn every day and leaving cum stains everywhere in your house nonstop, as a way to cope with loneliness. Never goes out, doesn't exercise nor does improve social skills, and yet this special type of breeds can usually be found moderating around Discord, Tumblr, and Reddit as power-hungry mods or working remotely in a part-time job as a twitter moderator.
Jerry never finds a way to prevent chronic masturbation. He clearly didn't recover after getting rejected by Stacy for not being himself a Chad, as he believes.
by TheKamikazeMonkeys February 27, 2023
Get the Chronic Masturbation mug.by Wankingking March 5, 2023
Get the Masturbating mug.sarah was home alone and extremely horny. she turned off her bedroom light and took her pants off. she was so excited to masturbate that she leaped in bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. she started to touch her breasts and her nipples got hard. she reached over on her nightstand and grabbed her laptop. in the search bar she typed "pornhub." once she got on the porn, she clicked threesome. sarah felt very aroused by the threesome on the screen that she started touching herself. she imagined that her crush, jacob was the one touching her. she slowly crept her finger into her hole and started aggressively rubbing in and out. she suddenly squirted everywhere, but kept touching herself. later that night, jacob came over and asked her to have sex. she agreed and she had another orgasm.
by you'rewelcome69storymaker March 31, 2023
Get the masturbate mug.Jake had nothing to do and he lived alone so he grabbed his laptop and some lotion. Jake ran to his bedroom. He took his pants off and got under the covers. He put the laptop next to himself and put porn on. He spread the lotion on his hands and started the masturbation process. He got hard instantly and rubbed the lotion on his penis for 5 minutes. Cum came flying out. His covers were ruined. Jack didn't care, he kept going, until he heard a knock on the door. His girlfriend came over with condoms and dildos.
"Sarah don't come in yet!" Jack yelled.
Sarah came in anyway to the sight of Jack masturbating. Sarah lifted her top.
"Bite it off!" Sarah said whilst showing her tits to Jack.
The strange man bit Sarah's bra off and sucked on her tits like there was no tomorrow. Sarah took her pants off and shoved Jack's penis in her vagina and shoved the dildo in her ass. 30 minutes later they're both sleeping doggy style.
"Sarah don't come in yet!" Jack yelled.
Sarah came in anyway to the sight of Jack masturbating. Sarah lifted her top.
"Bite it off!" Sarah said whilst showing her tits to Jack.
The strange man bit Sarah's bra off and sucked on her tits like there was no tomorrow. Sarah took her pants off and shoved Jack's penis in her vagina and shoved the dildo in her ass. 30 minutes later they're both sleeping doggy style.
by cbgfyfhuddddddbvkfegiyyyyyyyyy April 1, 2023
Get the Masturbation mug.1. When someone performs the act of masturbation on themselves.
2. When someone acts like an arrogant twat and tries to present themselves as being smarter, cooler or more important than they actually are, typically by being boastful and/or putting other people down.
This is most often seen online, but can also happen in real life.
2. When someone acts like an arrogant twat and tries to present themselves as being smarter, cooler or more important than they actually are, typically by being boastful and/or putting other people down.
This is most often seen online, but can also happen in real life.
1. John performed a little self-masturbation when he got home to relax.
2. Hank bragging about his supposedly high IQ and over-relying on five-dollar words came across as major self-masturbation in the YouTube comments section.
2. Hank bragging about his supposedly high IQ and over-relying on five-dollar words came across as major self-masturbation in the YouTube comments section.
by TaxiFred November 18, 2023
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