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Army tool

ARMY TOOLS 101:
This label should apply to those who become institutionalized by the military. The long-term, or 'career' soldiers are generally those who have no direction in life and would otherwise FAIL in the REAL WORLD, so they join the military for a steady paycheck and/or structure/guidance in their lives, which the military provides through various courses, manuals, and mundane speeches, WHICH said ARMY TOOLS memorize bits and pieces of, for their own future speeches and spot corrections. Once these soldiers become NCO's, they generally do not have a clear understanding of their responsibilities nor how to act like DECENT human beings, so they revert to exerting their newly acquired power by less than decent means.

These soldiers can be found in administrative type jobs, where petty office politics prevail. The TOOL can be found driving his vehicle around post in search of lesser-ranking soldiers that they can 'correct' in proper wear of uniform, thus making the TOOL feel like he is "meeting the needs of the army and national defense". Another way to spot an ARMY TOOL is to listen for those who complain by 'legitimizing' their particular gripe by comparing it to an army regulation INFRACTION.
by terminalsoup January 8, 2010
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Toolbag McFuckface

An insult, for when "tool" doesn't quite encompass the issue.
I'd love to go, but Toolbag McFuckface here is blocking the intersection.
by ivan009 November 27, 2009
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Related Words
twool Twoolie Twooly tool Tool Box Toolbag Toolie Tool Belt toolies toolface

tat tool

A person who gets large, colorful tattoos simply because it it is the current fad. A tat tool has no appreciation for the art or history of tattoos.
Hey, look at this badass coy fish surrounded by roses and skulls and dragons and naked bitches I got on my chest!

You are such a tat tool.
by groundcontrol67 August 31, 2007
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Tool On Deck

"Tool On Deck" is an urban phrase used when you want to let people know you have gun. The word "tool" refers to the gun and the word "deck" refers to having your gun at the ready. The phrase was originated in the south in places like Miami & New Orleans. Was made popular by rapper Lil' Wayne on the song "9mm" on David Banners album "The Greatest Story Ever Told".
What? You wanna start some shit? TOOL ON DECK!

Don't worry, if they start something I got my "tool on deck".
by Just Guy January 17, 2008
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Wacking Off In My Tool Shed

Addictive behaviour conducted in demeaning and surreptitious circumstances.
(On finding a dieting woman wolfing ice cream right out of the bucket while standing in front of the freezer at 2 am): "Are you whacking off in the tool shed again?"
by Master of Procrastination April 10, 2003
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blue tool

A person who walks around with their blue tooth on and has extremely loud conversations in public, seemingly enjoying sharing their business with strangers.
"It was bad enough I had to wait in line for 20 minutes, let alone having to hear some blue tool behind me yapping away!"
by toolguru November 12, 2007
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Fuck Tool

A guys penis often used to fix a girl with a broken heart or down on her luck
Kiersten : Thanks Brad for fixing my sink sorry I can't pay you right now my boyfriend keeps breaking the bed and shitting on my furniture when we have sex!
Brad : Hey baby don't cry your money is no good with me anyway hey ive got just the tool to fix your problems!
Kiersten : And what might that be!
Brad : It's the most used tool in my collection!
Kiersten : Oh wow that's an amazing Fuck Tool do you think it could fix me?
Brad : Well it's never let me down yet!
Kiersten : Oh Brad! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! AHH! AHH! AHH! BRAD! BRAD BRAD!
Brad : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jake : Hey what's going on in there!
Kiersten : Oh BRAD! it's so amazing
Brad : Ride em cowgirl!
Kiersten : Yee Haw! Cum for me baby!
Brad : AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Jake : What The Fuck! Brad I know your in there get your Fuck Tool outta my girl!
by SlopNChop September 21, 2017
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