Texas 

1. The worst fucking state of the entire union. America needs Texas like humanity needs another Nickelback album. This is a state so backwards, that George W. Bush is still popular there--Texas still thinks he shits gold and pisses crude oil. If Texas is really going to secede the states as Govenor Rick Perry says, LET THEM! America will let them dwell in their abundance of teen pregnancies for a year until they are a third-world country, then we will come in, knock down all their shitty little buildings, enslave them and make them a servent class, (seeing how Texans aren't really people) and lastly, sell Texas back to Mexico making a satisfying profit

2. A cesspool of crazy fucks who still like George W. Bush and think it is alright to have sex with their brothers and sisters.

*School spelling bee*

Teacher: "Could you spell the world Texas?"
Student: "Could you give me a definition?"
Teacher: "Texas: a state that just sucks dick."
Student: "T-E-X-A-S, Texas!"

Texas by Proudly American July 14, 2009

Texas 

Texas A place that we are all very jealous of and wished we lived in.

A place with suburbs filled with houses that look exactly the same as far as the eye can see.

Where the people are all thirty-two stone and there are no sidewalks, because nobody walks anymore.

Fat Texan grunts at six in the morning as his daily heart attack wakes him up.

He goes down to the kitchen, devoures eighteen slices of bacon, four eggs, thirty-seven pancakes and a liter of Dr. Pepper.

He then puts on his cowboy hat and his boots, puts on his belt with the obnoxious belt buckle that is shaped like Texas and puts his gun in the holster.

He then walks out the door, determined to make it to the bottom of the driveway to retrieve the mail...walking...walking...

halfway down the Texan fails as usual and collapses into a grunting heaving heap.....

Don't mess with Texas.

Texas by ProudNortherner October 5, 2009

Texas 

The only body of land/territory in the known universe to ever get the shit kicked out of it by Mexico. face it texas, its a fact. And by the way, as far as your little slogan "dont mess with texas!", sorry scumbags but we already did. It was called the Civil War and you got owned. Again, its a fact.

Beat down by the union Army, and the mexicans! Damn, Texas just cant win!

Texas by irvinesucks January 22, 2009

texas 

-A very large state, indeed.
-Ask any child under eight there to draw the world and you will see them carefully outline the shape of texas.
Contains the #1 and #2 most overweight cities in America, statistically ofcourse. sounds good.
-In 2004, half of all death penalties in the U.S took place in Texas.
-Just because the people of Texas are mainly responsible for George Bush's rise to the presidency, doesn't mean they are all like he is. However, Texas is a portion of the "Bible Belt" and is therefore overwhelmed by very conservative, religious, ignorant and change-averse people.
-Minorities, Liberals, and above all, Homosexuals beware of Texas.
-The majority of ALL U.S. hate-crimes are committed here.
-This does not apply to every person in Texas. However, take amoment and check out the posts made by its very own residents. I'd say it's applicable to most of them, as well as many people you meet from Texas.

-Texas truly deserves to be it's own country.
-Wait for the ignorant, bad-grammar, homophobic, lengthy, vulgar responses to this post-variations of the word "FAGGOT" are likely to be used. Watch how quickly and blindly these people stand up and fight for a their home state, with no factual evidence or support. Soon, some will recognize the validity of this definition.

texas by Dan Gleasac July 16, 2008

texas 

my home sweet home its some fine ass niggaz hurr im from dat h-town fuck oklahama texas is crunk

sandy cheeks is texas tough
howdy yall im from texas wanna help me pick some cotton?

texas by texas gal April 6, 2004

Texas 

A state with small penis syndrome and chewy bbq.

"I'm from Texas and I always have to say I'm bigger and badder and I drive a big ole Truck because my penis is really small."

Texas by its4oclockandihavenothingtodo March 21, 2013

Texas 

Home of Dr. Pepper, small-town hospitality as long as you aren't different in any way, and a 25%+ obese rate.

They are NOT the biggest state in the country....Alaska could fit two Texas' inside of it and still have room left over.

It's true that they were their own country up until 1845....because they loved Slavery too much to give it up to join the union.

Like most everywhere else, pockets of ignorance and bigotry can still be found...it's just that in Texas those pockets are the size you find on an obese mans jeans.

Things you will see if you go to Texas:
People flying the confederate flag and saying it's 'Heritage not Hate', despite not having any previous family members who served in the Confederate Army.
Women that are 300+ lbs with a 'Hot Mama' or 'Sexy Chick' sticker on the back of their SUV.
Places where you can get something fried, dipped in chocolate and fried again.

Texas by Shirley James June 13, 2008