Before going down on some chick, insert one digit into her poon tang and figure out a way to smell your finger without her noticing. This way you know if it smells like dead mice down there!
Man, it was a good thing I gave your wife The Shempf Test, it smelled like a homeless dudes chode down there!
by yoink doinker July 22, 2009
Get the The Shempf Test mug.1. (noun)A Stand in in a movie, used when the budget is all sucked up
2. (noun)The replacement on the 3 Stooges
3. (verb) The act of relaxing or sitting around
2. (noun)The replacement on the 3 Stooges
3. (verb) The act of relaxing or sitting around
by Shin November 9, 2003
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Denizen of a council housing estate or housing "scheme", hence use of the vernacular, "schemie". Commonly found in the East Coast of Scotland and can be viewed as an appropriate equilevlant to the West Coast "ned". Prone to wearing tasteless branded clothing in excruciatingly bright colours - classically white. Frequently used namebrands inc. Henry Lloyd, Nike, Reebok, Nickelson, Tommi Hilfigger, Adidas and Ralph Lauren. The common schemie will, in most cases, also have a malign addiction to Burberry caps in particular. Said caps are normally placed upon the individuals head at a 45-90 agle allowing breathtaking views of the common schemie`s equally breathtaking lack of respect for conventionally attractive hairstyles. As an alternative to the established norms of appealling hairdos, schemies revel in the daily act of gelling their front fringe into a cement strong array of spikes that descend onto the top of their forehead. Furthermore, chunky and lurid gold jewellry is brazenly displayed at every opportunity in desperate attempt to appeal to the, equally luridly addorned, opposite sex (NB When observing the female schemie you may confirm your sighting as authentic by the prescence of gold hooped rings ranging anywhere from a 3 inch to a 3 foot diameter). It must be duly noted that it is highly likely that all of the clothing or jewellery worn by a shemie is of a counterfeit nature - the dole only stretches so far.
The overly generous UK social security system is the backbone of this curious species and without it they would surely perish.
Finally, the common schemie may be easily identified by his passion for consuming vile cheap liqour such as Buckfast Tonic Wine, Tennets Super T lager or Diamond White high-strength cider and/or numerous varities of illegal narcotics. This behaviour may occur at any time onwards from approxiamtely 8 am and generally ceases upon total intoxication and collapse or arrest by the local constabulary. During such time, schemies will, in general, become even more malevonant tomwards innocent members of the public than normal and it is advisable to avoid contact with them if at all possible. However if interaction is inevitable then it is in your best interests to stand your ground and throw the first punch. This is due to the fact that deep down, all schemies are in fact chickenshit little motherfuckers who will flee from an unafraid opponent and seek out weaker propositions instead (such as OAPs or school children). Beware: The schemie population is expanding at a worrying rate due to a lack of education, contraception, intelligence and a sense of social resposibility. This situation is also further exacerbated by a reliance on social security that encourages their proliferation. Shoot on sight.
The overly generous UK social security system is the backbone of this curious species and without it they would surely perish.
Finally, the common schemie may be easily identified by his passion for consuming vile cheap liqour such as Buckfast Tonic Wine, Tennets Super T lager or Diamond White high-strength cider and/or numerous varities of illegal narcotics. This behaviour may occur at any time onwards from approxiamtely 8 am and generally ceases upon total intoxication and collapse or arrest by the local constabulary. During such time, schemies will, in general, become even more malevonant tomwards innocent members of the public than normal and it is advisable to avoid contact with them if at all possible. However if interaction is inevitable then it is in your best interests to stand your ground and throw the first punch. This is due to the fact that deep down, all schemies are in fact chickenshit little motherfuckers who will flee from an unafraid opponent and seek out weaker propositions instead (such as OAPs or school children). Beware: The schemie population is expanding at a worrying rate due to a lack of education, contraception, intelligence and a sense of social resposibility. This situation is also further exacerbated by a reliance on social security that encourages their proliferation. Shoot on sight.
by David Keddie January 27, 2004
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Adam came up with some crazy ponzitronic scheme to make money. Paid Autosurf and AdSurfDaily would be proud.
by charles wilson II January 15, 2009
Get the ponzitronic scheme mug.by eldanesh May 17, 2007
Get the Schema mug.illegal money-making arrangement where great wealth is promised, usually in a relatively short period of time.
very few people, if anyone, end up making any money, and in fact end up GIVING money in their vain hope of striking it rich.
very few people, if anyone, end up making any money, and in fact end up GIVING money in their vain hope of striking it rich.
there are many organizations which are, in reality,legalized versions of the pyramid scheme - Amway is probably the most well known and has been around the longest.
by James January 22, 2004
Get the pyramid scheme mug.Ben: Yo me and my girlfriend just broke up two nights ago
John: Well damn that's why Joe was scheming so hard on her at the party last night
John: Well damn that's why Joe was scheming so hard on her at the party last night
by Neb Movies December 12, 2015
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