Rumsby

The lord of all lords, Scottish legends and pirate kings all had the surname Rumsby. It glistens with the sweat of victory. Most notably known for their extreme capacity for alcoholic beverages, and taste for rum, a Rumsby has no qualms fucking up any sack of shit that has the nerve to throw his unworthy waffle-ass in the way of the Rumsby's path to glory. Usually the path to a chair at the bar. When you hear the name Rumsby, images of Leonidas harpooning a freshly cherried woman come to mind, because blood on the dick is beneath a Rumsby, but freshly destroying a woman fresh from deflowering with the vigor of Leonidas and a 300 spartan army is something oh-so-common in the Rumsby bloodline. Assclowns beware because these fuckers are crazy, one minute they'll be sitting there all pensive and worldly and shit, the next they're inebriated and tittyfucking a midget and setting fire to a Buddhist temple, simply because he feels they don't drink enough, and midget tits are perky as FUCK.

Assclown: Sir, excuse me but the bar is full. We'll be able to seat you in a moment.
Rumsby: *drunken slur* YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT DICK SON I CAN SEE AN OPENING RIGHT THERE
Assclown: That's just a space between two men seated, please sir calm down
Rumsby: AIN'T NOBODY GON CALM DOWN THE PAIN TRAIN. SCUSE ME GENTS BUT YER GETTING A WHOOP IF I'N EVER SEEN ONE
Seated Gents: OH MY GOD IS THAT HIS DICK?!

by KingCherry January 2, 2014

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