Bed paralysis 

The inability (if only psychosomatically) to move after experiencing a state of fatigue through the day.

“Laura isn’t going to be joining us, she has bed paralysis.”

Bed paralysis by Saph-69 September 11, 2021

Loot Paralysis 

Typically found in most high pressure looter-shooter video games (or battle royale games), Loot Paralysis occurs whenever a player is faced with a large amount of valuable loot/items one may want to take with them, but has so much to organize or dump in order to take the items that they freeze up and cease thinking straight. This leads to not taking as much loot as one may wish to or can fit on their person and having to leave things behind or get killed by another player because they took too long.

"Hey, hurry up and loot your kill!"
"I'm trying, but they had really good stuff, I-I don't know what to take first..."
"Shake off the loot paralysis and hurry the fuck up, I hear more of them!"

Loot Paralysis by The Ratt March 13, 2023

Cat paralysis 

When a cat lays down on something, therefore making that thing incapable of movement

“Ahh shit, I can’t come over. I have cat paralysis right now”

“I wanted to use my laptop but it’s got cat paralysis”

Cat paralysis by KermitGold March 21, 2023

Sleep Paralysis 

A state of sleep between REM and being conscious. It feels similar to epileptic seizures (because I have had epileptic seizures AND sleep paralysis). Some people hallucinate, seeing monsters who are called "Sleep paralysis demons" and often depicted at the foot of your bed or sitting on your chest. Please note that not EVERYONE witnesses 'demons.' During Sleep Paralysis, you are fully conscious and can think clearly, but find EXTREME DIFFICULTY in breathing (even though your real body is still breathing) and you are paralyzed (you can't move any muscles). Sometimes, you may see yourself from a 3rd person's POV, and different individuals may experience the sensations of falling, being dragged off of the bed, or a heavy weight on their chest. During this time, your body is tensed up and your eyes are wide open, from a viewer witnessing the event. Normally, when a person wakes up after having sleep paralysis, it is a very memorable incident, unlike a dream. Treat sleep paralysis as a scary lucid dream. Sleep paralysis can occur as one is falling asleep OR as one is waking up. If a witness sees your body shaking violently during sleep paralysis, you may have had an epileptic seizure. Other than that, sleep paralysis is relatively harmless but can be scary for even someone who has had it multiple times. Personally, I think it's a load of BS when people say that laying on your back makes it more likely to have sleep paralysis.

James: "Dude, I had sleep paralysis last night."
John: "I was seriously worried when your body stiffened and you wouldn't answer me."

Sleep Paralysis by SLAAAAAAYER April 3, 2023

sheep paralysis 

When suddenly you freeze and all sheep within 50 miles of you slowly make their way to your current location to fucking default dance on you with their hooves. Usually occurs when around bodies of salt water.

Or maybe you meant to go to sleep paralysis and ended up here because it looked funny.

Dude, where did all the sheep come from?
Must have had sheep paralysis.

sheep paralysis by SLAAAAAAYER April 24, 2023

Post Panda Paralysis 

The malaise state one experiences after engorging oneself on panda express.

No I cant get off the couch and do that, I am suffering from Post Panda Paralysis

Post Panda Paralysis by Philosophical Harassment Panda April 29, 2011

Post-shit Paralysis 

The feeling of utter ecstasy when you let out a toilet-snake that's been brewing all day (or possibly longer). Side-effects include dizziness, drowsiness, empty thoughts, and most of all, euphoria.

Person 1: Jesus christ, man, are you okay? Are you having a bad case of Post-shit Paralysis?
Person 2: Haha.... yeah.... i-i'm fiiine. *(promptly falls asleep)*

Post-shit Paralysis by GimmickConnections March 26, 2021