Magical Mummy

Non existent ideal. The term embodies the unrealistic expectations of magazines/society/men when it comes to mothers. Magical Mummy can cook, clean, do arts and crafts with the kiddies, sew, wash, walk the dog and fuck like a pornstar without even ruffling her perfect hair. She is never to be found languishing on the sofa whilst the kids run riot, nor does she drink wine and sob in the evenings, looking at the pile of ironing and wondering what the fuck happened to her life.

Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.

"He asked me why I hadn't been able to iron his uniform as well as make the dinner and clean the kitchen. As if I'm some kind of Magical Mummy!"

"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"

"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"

by MagickDio February 5, 2010

Magician's handkerchief

When you masturbate with both hands, alternating strokes so that you are going in the same direction in a continuous motion, like how a magician pulls on an infinite handkerchief.

Last night I lubed up both hands and gave myself a tug on the magician's handkerchief.

by Adam Bones May 14, 2016

Shit Magician

Someone who can turn even the best situation into shit.

We were having a great time until that shit magician showed up & ruined our day.

by MCRT February 26, 2011

Magicarp

During sex, one of the partners will start to mimic the flopping motion of Magicarp's splash attack erratically, arms tucked into your sides, and legs close together, whilst repeating the word Magicarp as you flail, as a pokemon would. Best used whilst in a prone sexual position, whilst on top of your partner.

Nigella:'Tom pulled a Magicarp on me last night!'
Mary:'Whats that?'
Nigella:'He started to flop up and down on top of me, whilst shouting magicarp!'

by nerd-do-well January 7, 2011

Magical banana

A banana that chino(s) (a Spanish language referral to "Asian people") have in their houses which is believed to have a certain magical effect to make people who ate it healed (when having an illness) or happy (when they are sad).

Alejandra: Aww.. I don't feel good..
Flavia: And I'm sad.. Oh, I know! Let's go to chino's place and eat his magical banana!

by zoomzter February 3, 2012

Magikarp

A strange fish pokemon with cravings for cheesecake

Person 1: Hey, what's that?
Person 2:It's a Magikarp

by dratinimew August 23, 2012

Facebook Magician

Someone who appears sexy on Facebook in their photos, but in real life is an ugly fuck.

Gabe: Damn Kimberli is fine!

Mike: Na dude don't fall for it she's a Facebook Magician.

by xbox crew August 1, 2011