A wonderful world full of lumberjacks, dead parrots, Australians named Bruce, men with silly walks, men who say "nudge nudge", knights who say "ni" and a very naughty boy named Brian.
It is the happiest place on earth where vikings eat spam and where no one expects the Spanish Inquisition
It is the happiest place on earth where vikings eat spam and where no one expects the Spanish Inquisition
by Jack Cheese September 14, 2016
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Excert from monty python and the holy grail:
One day, lad, all this will be yours!
What, the curtains?
No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
But Mother--
Father, lad. Father.
B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
Rather what?!
I'd rather...
music
...just... sing!
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
B-- but I don't want land.
Listen, Alice,--
Herbert.
'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
But-- but I don't like her.
Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
music
...a certain,... special... something!
Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
smack
One day, lad, all this will be yours!
What, the curtains?
No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
But Mother--
Father, lad. Father.
B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
Rather what?!
I'd rather...
music
...just... sing!
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
B-- but I don't want land.
Listen, Alice,--
Herbert.
'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
But-- but I don't like her.
Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
music
...a certain,... special... something!
Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
smack
by le fromage May 19, 2006
Get the monty python and the holy grail mug.by Ripmonty February 4, 2015
Get the Monty Oum mug.A hilarious British Comedy Show which made outragious often controversial statements and suggestions. The actors were mainly: Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Eric Idle, John Cleese, Terry gilliam, and Graham Chapman.
Monty Python: Flying Circus: Volume 2
'As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Your etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, Mushrooms and garlic'
~
'Your Highness, you are also like a stream of bat's piss.'
'What?'
'I merely meant, your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.'
~
'Beans!!!'
'As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Your etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, Mushrooms and garlic'
~
'Your Highness, you are also like a stream of bat's piss.'
'What?'
'I merely meant, your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.'
~
'Beans!!!'
by Nintendo-Innuendo July 28, 2008
Get the monty python mug.The standard logic used by such people as the knights of the round table. It's sound logic that can only be understood by men of science.
E.g. You want to test if a woman is a witch. You burn witches, but you also burn wood. This means witches burn because they are made of wood. Wood also floats in water, just like a duck. So therefore, if she weighs the same as a duck, then she is made out of wood, and is therefore a witch. Now you must weigh her on a set of large scales with a duck, and if they weigh the same, she is guilty of being a witch.
E.g. You want to test if a woman is a witch. You burn witches, but you also burn wood. This means witches burn because they are made of wood. Wood also floats in water, just like a duck. So therefore, if she weighs the same as a duck, then she is made out of wood, and is therefore a witch. Now you must weigh her on a set of large scales with a duck, and if they weigh the same, she is guilty of being a witch.
Well, Bernard, that is some Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology right there!
by PetersonE1 February 16, 2017
Get the monty pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology mug."how do you know she is a witch"
"She looks like one"
"I'm not a witch! I'M not a witch! They dressed me up like this and this isn't my nose it's a false one."
"I see. Eh.. Did you dress her up like this?"
"Well, nose a bit. Yeah a bit."
"Tell me. What do you do with witches?"
"Burn them! Burn!"
"And then why do witches burn. Hmmm.."
"Because they're, made of wood?"
"So how do you tell if she is made of wood?"
"Eh.. Build a bridge out of 'er"
"But can not you also build bridges out of stone?"
"Oh yeah"
"Does wood sink in water?"
"No no it floats. Throw her into the pond!"
"Wait! What also floats in water?"
"Umm.. very small rocks. churches. lead!"
"A duck"
"presicly!"
"So logically.."
"If she weighs the same as a duck, then shes made outta wood."
"And therefore"
"She's a witch!"
"She looks like one"
"I'm not a witch! I'M not a witch! They dressed me up like this and this isn't my nose it's a false one."
"I see. Eh.. Did you dress her up like this?"
"Well, nose a bit. Yeah a bit."
"Tell me. What do you do with witches?"
"Burn them! Burn!"
"And then why do witches burn. Hmmm.."
"Because they're, made of wood?"
"So how do you tell if she is made of wood?"
"Eh.. Build a bridge out of 'er"
"But can not you also build bridges out of stone?"
"Oh yeah"
"Does wood sink in water?"
"No no it floats. Throw her into the pond!"
"Wait! What also floats in water?"
"Umm.. very small rocks. churches. lead!"
"A duck"
"presicly!"
"So logically.."
"If she weighs the same as a duck, then shes made outta wood."
"And therefore"
"She's a witch!"
by Tom Bombadillo June 29, 2005
Get the Monty Python and the Holy Grail mug.