mattress talk

Just like pillow talk except when you kick the pillows off in the throws of passion and there arent any pillows to lay your head. So, pillow talk therefore becomes mattress talk.

Girl: talking about her issues

Guy: moving in for round 2, 3, and 4 while announcing it, hence the "mattress talk"

by LynnPearl December 9, 2008

Mattress Ranch

Another name for semen.

After I am done tossing your salad, I am going to coat it with my mattress ranch.

by Sir. Ted March 15, 2011

mattress dancing

It's sex, you IQ-deprived idiots.

I don't tango, but I do spend my nights mattress dancing.

by smarterthanyou265 July 24, 2014

Mattress Wrestler

An ancient middle-eastern test that proves courage, bravery, and sex drive. First invitations are sent out to friends and family and a "place" is rented. Such as a hotel ballroom. The Males parents are in charge of buying the bed(s.) This becomes important later on. The females parents are in charge of the weapons. Any assortment can be brought. Inflatable pool toys, noodles, and flippers (used for slapping) The event normally begins at the stroke of 12. The young (18) year old guy choosing a partner for this ancient ritual. The only requirement is that it must be a girl. Another male helper is required. The beds are put behind a curtain on stage. The man and women go behind the curtain. After they are "done" the man must go and fight the other man naked, covered in grease - with only flippers for defense. Once the man is finished, he returns to his female partner and "proceeds" when "done", he returns to the other male and repeats. The test is to see how long the male can last.

Dude one:"Dude, I only lasted three rounds"
Dude two:"Who called you out?"
Dude one:"My female partner"
All other dudes: "Ha ha ha. "
Dude one:"so tired from the Mattress Wrestler"

by HALLIFRIKINLUYAH April 15, 2011

Mattress Party

When the family or friends of a terminally ill person (sick, dying, or otherwise lame) throw a mattress over him/her and take turns wallowing on it in order to smother him/her.

"If Cousin Joe don't show no signs of recuv'ry, we's might just have to have ourselve's a right Mattress Party."

by Hillary Lauffer January 7, 2009

mattress actress

a girl who acts like she would be willing to sleep with you , for something gained but really has no intention of it.

as soon as i gave in and gave her 20 bucks she split, what a mattress actress

by doinksplat November 20, 2013

Mattress Pumper

A young guy, shy, loner, usually a teenager, often a geek, who does not have a girlfriend and spends far too much time alone, often at home in his bedroom, when other people his age are out having a good time. The implication being that he is wanking or fucking, i.e. "Pumping" his mattress because he can't root a real Sheila. The meaning of the term and it's use might have nothing in common.

An underage drinker (under 18) is in a bar and bumps, into a grown man who shouts at him, "Piss off, you little mattress pumper".

by sbjkd January 19, 2009