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Crouton

A “stale cracker” by analogy to the salad topping. Similar in usage to “ok boomer” but more contemptuous. Used to mock someone for stereotypically “old, white” behavior. Superlative is “absolute” akin to “absolute unit”.
You demanded to speak to the manager and then demanded they “go back to where they came from?” Ugh you absolute crouton.
by Jockeys41 June 21, 2025
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Croutonic Plague

It is the year 69420 and croutons have taken over the world, they call it "The Croutonic Plague", people are dying and many hav lost homes to croutons
joe says "my house got destroyed because of the croutonic plague"
Jim replies with "I know"
by SOMESWITCHUSER March 18, 2022
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crouton face

A very dry face of any kind meaning male or female. A face that has those dry cracks in the corner of the mouth with a case of eye boogers.
by MyztresC June 3, 2014
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Pants Crouton

A small piece of dried, crispy feces stuck in between the ass-cheeks. A consequence of a sub-par wipe.
"This morning I woke up with two Pants Croutons in my ass, and boy oh boy was that uncomfortable."
by josmont October 23, 2015
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Pants Crouton

The small pieces of toilet paper left behind after a poor wiping. Possibly caused by cheap toilet paper.
Man, I need to get better toilet paper, I keep getting pants croutons.
by Joke65 October 11, 2015
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Crouton

A crouton is something you put in salad and it is a type of bread that is crunchy and when you put it in salad it sometimes turn soggy so it’s not that crispy and hard and it is good sometimes but when it’s soggy it’s not that good sometimes It taste like poop and sometimes it taste like heaven because I am religious and croutons no name brand taste disgusting but real name brands are known for having delicious croutons
Hey what type of croutons are those?

No name brand

No thanks
by Carissa_ February 9, 2020
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Crouton

A hipster on steroids - but not the cool kind. Recognizable by a) a bunch of face jewelry b) pink box died hair or c) thrifted cotton turtlenecks. The easiest way to spot a crouton however, is via their “artsy” Instagram feed.
Pinelopi: “There’s a new guy living across the hall!”
Sarah: “Ooouu is he cute?”
Pinelopi: “Meh, he’s a crouton”
by it’s Danielle not Daniel April 23, 2018
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