cattle

Large portion of people living in the United States who are overweight and have similar lifestyles. Cattle can be identified as eating fast foods, processed foods, not exercising, or justifying eating a high calorie meal by ordering a "diet soda". Cattle hobbies include watching TV, playing video games, and never going outside. Cattle are wasteful of all resources for example leaving their 3 large screen TVs on 24/7 and not recycling their trash. Cattle are extreme consumers and love to buy vehicles and useless products. Cattle teach their children how to grow up to be cattle by sitting them in front of some kind of video screen at very early ages. Cattle children are all overweight and have asthma from never going outside and playing. Cattle justify this atrocity by claiming that outside is dangerous for children and they will get hurt. Cattle all have jobs where they have to clock in and work set hours. They are not intelligent or motivated enough to work for themselves. Cattle are the bread and butter for the US Government. They supply the government with the majority of all money collected in taxes. Cattle have bad habits like smoking and drinking. This is even more revenue for the US Government. Cattle are frustrated with their lives and in order to feel human or free they tend to break minor laws with the state they are living in. When caught, revenue from fines pay raises, bonuses, and buy new high performance undercover vehicles for local and state police departments.

"Diet soda is on the fast food drive-thru menu to make the cattle feel healthy." "Cattle never have time to exercise, because all their extra time is allotted to watching TV or video games."

by rarelyobscure September 14, 2013

cottee

A combination of coffee and tea. Equal parts coffee and tea mixed with hot water, cream, milk or sugar. Usually drunk by people who cannot decide between a choice of the above beverages.

"What will you have, tea or coffee?"
"Uhm - i'll just take a cottee, thanks."

by bambooleaf August 9, 2009

cattle wound

an injury sustained while having sex with an overweight woman

Me - This cattle wound hurts pretty bad. I think my dick was bent in half.
Mike - That's what happens when Bertha pounces on top of you.

by docwhoomph July 13, 2010

cattle trucked

Cockney rhyming slang for 'fucked'.

As an alternative to saying "I'm knackered" meaning that one is exhausted, one could say "I'm cattled" (cattle trucked).

by Markyharley December 25, 2013

the cattle are out

an expression used when something goes horribly wrong, such as 15000 dollars worth of cattle heading for the field

Mike,why are your cattle in the garden? Ahh goddamit the cattle are out, help me befor they get into the field.

by mn., November 8, 2003

Calling the cattle

To vomit while drunk in a loud and glorious manner.

"Hey, where's Tom?"
"He's calling the cattle"
"Huh. Yeah. He looked pretty wasted."

by Frankie Pistlekahk September 18, 2007

crottled greeps

A term used in science fiction fandom, implicitly a foodstuff, which derives from (1) “crottles,” the curved lines in cartoons indicating that a character is falling over backwards and (2) “grippe” (influenza) as spelled by the English and pronounced by the French. It is said that crottled greeps are to food what blog is to drink; many fans have presented their ideas of what the true recipe for both must be, even though the Geneva Convention expressly describes the transmission of the true recipes of either by any means as a Crime Against Humanity.

If you don't like crottled greeps, why did you order them?

by rich brown August 11, 2004