i am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me

I am in constant agony. My life is a mess. As a kid I had a natural aptitude for math and science, but I let it get to my head, ultimately ruining my possibility to go to college.

I wasted my life playing video games and watching the television; the natural talents I once had have apathied and worn away, leaving the one thing I was good at behind.

My life has been nothing but a fastly accelerating downward spiral and I have failed to provide anything of with to anyone.

Isaiah: Hey, Ed! Haven't seen you in a few years, how are you don't?

Me: I am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me.

Isaiah: ...
Me: ...
Isaiah: yeah, same.

by MrDrEdward October 31, 2021

Constance

If your name is Constance, you're really cute. Constance's are funny, badass, kind, supportive, and drop-dead gorgeous! If you get to date one, don't let go of her and treat her right. Be loyal to her and respect her because she is a queen. Wherever you meet Constance (whether it is on Omegle or at school), just know that if you really love her, get to know her and shoot your shot, even if it misses! Dating a Constance is a privilege and words can't describe how lucky you are. Constance's are really down to earth, super smart, and have a dark sense of humor (in a cute way). My point is, Constance's are the best thing to exist, especially the one I know <3 They also have AMAZING personalities.

Hey Constance, I just wanted to say I love you. I just can't get enough of your beautiful face and body and you're 100% the one for me. Ilysm.

by RickLovesYou 😊❤ October 22, 2020

coniption fit

When a person goes into a fit of rage, such as a spaz attack.

Mary: How was your day?
John: Why the hell would you care?
Mary: Don't have a coniption fit!

by Toriiiia- September 9, 2006

constantine

Crazy white boy who goes to hell and beats bitches up with a golden shotgun

Constantine:i told you to move the car
side kick:if i knew you where tossing a demon in a mirror i would have moved it further

by Nick March 6, 2005

constantiam

An online community of Bangladeshi Kite testing connoisseurs and other cultured men.

niggers tongue your anus on constantiam

by boggaogga November 10, 2019

Cum Canister

1. (noun) A container used to store a large quantity of semen for future use.

2. (noun) A woman of easy virtue who has one or more orifice(s) open in which semen storage may occur at any given moment and usually quite frequently.

1. Someone spilled the cum canister I had in the fridge and now my lasagna is covered in jizz.

2. I thoroughly filled that cum canister we picked up at that shindig last night.

by NCEPhaloS May 2, 2008

dirty constance

A act where a woman can jerk off a guys dick with having a parrot on her shoulder.

Cam: DUDE! SHE GAVE ME A DIRTY CONSTANCE!
Bryson: Oh, Really?

Cam: Yeah, That parrot on her shoulder when she jerked felt nice!

Bryson: Nice! I want a girl to do that.

by HaterHateHate920 April 2, 2020