Inuit Apology 

A political maneuver used by Canadian Politicians to avoid responsibility and evade media accountability. In promising to apologize for an historic Indigenous grievance, a Politician may use it to provide political cover when faced with a contemporaneous scandal.

Q: "In light of the large and growing mass of evidence that you and your Government tried to unlawfully pressure the Attorney General into cutting a sweetheart deal for your SNC-Lavalin in a corruption case, will you be apologizing today?"

A: "I will be making an Inuit apology later today."

Inuit Apology by Nuliayuk March 7, 2019

papal apology 

n. Any meandering speech touching on noble intentions, shifting societal norms, the infallibility of the church, and vague regrets, delivered in a clownish war bonnet.

.......................................

Do you think the Ukrainian war will end with a papal apology?

I do not care. As long as it ends.

papal apology by gnostic3 August 19, 2022

cosmetic apology

an insincere gesture of appeasement that has nothing to do with regret or remorse.

But he hasn't talked to her in over five years.
Don't worry. He's got a level head on his shoulders. He'll know if she's sincere or if it's a cosmetic apology.

cosmetic apology by Holly Anne Ivy December 5, 2009

hollow apology 

an apology that is not meaningful or sincere.

Sean: "Man, my girlfriend really pissed me off last night."
Christ: "Even if it wasn't your fault, give her a hollow apology, that way you can still use her for sex!"

hollow apology by TornIn2 January 16, 2011

John Howard apology 

Where you express regret for an act occurring, but don't actually apologise for it.

Named for the former Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, who said, in response to a comment he made on consecutive interest rate raises, that he said that he was 'sorry that it happened, but didn't make any mention of an apology.'

Person A: You'd better apologise to Charlie, man.
Person B: Nah, I'm not sorry. I'll just give him a John Howard apology.

John Howard apology by SoulMasterKaze January 17, 2011

Blanket Apology 

1. A "I'm sorry" that covers all things someone says or does while drunk or otherwise intoxicated.

2. A mass text that gets sent out the morning after blacking out and sending a ton of ridiculous texts and IMs the night before.

1. "I'm really drunk right now, I'm sorry."
"That's ok I assume a blanket apology for whenever you're drunk."

2. "OMG I'M SO SORRY FOR THE TEXTS/IMs LAST NIGHT GUYS, I WAS SOOOO DRUNK. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER SENDING HALF OF THESE."
"LOL"

Blanket Apology by LiveXAndXLearn November 23, 2011

Letterman apology 

the passive-agressive act of dramatically apologizing not only for an action which one has committed, but also for things which one has previously committed, has not committed, and would not likely commit, all in an effort to reduce one's culpability for the central action in question. This is similar to a strategy employed by jewish grandmothers, where one apologizes for all things that have ever happened, whether good or bad.

Example of a "Letterman apology":

Dave: ... so my apologies to subjecting them to that vulnerability and being brow-beaten and humiliated, it never occured to me, and as a matter of fact Alan Coulter kept wanting to know if we'd had sex, do you remember that Alan?

Alan: I did and I don't remember.

Dave: So I'll just say I'm terribly sorry ... And now, also because what can it hurt, once again I'd like to apologize to the former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin...

Letterman apology by ssppuunn November 4, 2009