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turtle slap

Retaliating with a full on slap on one's face immediately after one enhances one's palm on one's turtle.
If you touch my turtle again, I will turtle slap you!

If your palm connects with my turtle again, I am going to seriously turtle slap you into next Tuesday.
by Jackdawhouse July 1, 2007
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Turtle hat

A way to express feeling very frustrated about an ongoing or frequent situation that you seem incapable of resolving;

To feel like a turtle wandering around wearing an oversized Mexican sombrero and everytime something surprises him he pulls his head into his shell and the hat falls off and his little turtle arms are too short to put it back on his head and so he is sort of forced to nuzzle it back on but then it's sitting sort of crooked and he still can't reach it to adjust it so he has to do a bit of a wobble back and forth to get it to sit properly and then something surprises him again and...
Turtle hat! I keep waking up soaked in piss and I try to stay awake to catch who's doing it but it's hard when I'm so motherfucking drunk.
by JLamprey December 14, 2016
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Autistic Turtle

When a man is about to have sex he knocks the girl away jerks off on the floor then leaves.
"That boy I invited in last night was really nice, but then he pulled an autistic turtle! What a fucko!" said Jane.
by The king...of everyone June 4, 2010
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Turtle Dick

The uncontrollable full retraction of the male penis, leaving Just Nuts.

As in a Turtle pulling his head back inside of his shell.

Causes: Cold Water, Fright, Koo Ko Girlfriends or Wives.
Rieko went koo ko and screamed at me in front of thousands of people at Disneyland and before you know it, I had Turtle Dick.
by DrGenetics March 25, 2008
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Turtle-slapper

An enemy from an alternate universe that is similar to one your nemeses but I’m color and not black and white.
“You Turtle-Slapper”, said Spider-Man Noir aka Nicholas Cage.
by TardisBuilder77 December 16, 2018
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turtle face

The nonverbal, neutral acknowledgement of, or showing of respect to another by making eye contact, flattening the lips, and raising the eyebrows. This act is most commonly used in passing of coworkers, the elderly, and small children. The facial expression resembles that of a turtle's face.
As Brian walked past his boss in the hallway, he used a turtle face to acknowledge his boss without saying "hello."
by cmatkins July 7, 2009
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muddy turtleneck

the shit covered tip or head of the penis after dirty (anal) sex.
After pounding Linsay and Lisa in the ass then blowing the jism in their face, Joe had a muddy turtleneck and needed a shower.
by muddy shovel November 10, 2006
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