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fen monkey

Inbred under evolved East Anglian local people - more like a monkey than a human. East Anglia is statistically the most inbred area in the British Isles. It's residents are scared of the outside world, never venturing further than the local McDonalds. They mostly marry their cousins. The small gene pool produces monkey faced locals that inbreed frequently creating more monkey faced knuckle dragging kids. Despite their tribal existence they have no pride in East Anglia and moan all the time about how shit it is to live there - on this point they are correct but they are the problem.
Peterborough, Wisbech, Whittlesey are just some of examples of the local towns whose uneducated fen monkey residents are so insular that they are inherently rascist and bigoted. They persecute migrant workers that have settled in their towns to do all the jobs that they don't want to do or are incapable of doing. What these East Anglian retards don't realise is that they have no culture of their own whatsoever. The alpha males in Peterborough like nothing more than a rascist chant to support their local piss poor football team and then a jeering stand off with the away fans in the car park afterwards. They are actually a bunch of fucking cowards though. The minute it looks like one of them might get hit, they run back to the cover of the bushes and their vauxhall astras.

They should welcome the influx of hardworking foreigners as they just may create some cultural diversity and boost the gene pool that might make East Anglia a bareable place to live.
by 9 - 5 pacifist October 12, 2007
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Monkey Toss

To jizz in your own hand and throw it across the room... preferably toward a small, easily scared animal outside your window.
With the quickness only an expert monkey tosser can have, Gary quickly rubbed one out and chucked it across the lawn at the neighbors dachshund.
by Rock Hardy August 20, 2007
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Pounce Monkey

One who excells at sex.
Dude, my girlfriend came over last night! She's such a pounce monkey!
by RawrRaina November 21, 2009
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Dirty Monkey

When a girl lies on her back legs up & the guy squats(catchers position). While thrusting and yelling like a monkey, the guy discreetly shits in his hand & throws it in her face.
After leaving Marks, Michael took Nancy back to Blake and Sarah's. Where he gave her the Dirty Monkey on there kitchen floor!
by Spainard October 23, 2011
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porch monkey-spear chucker

Get off my porch you god damn porch monkey-spear chucker!!!
by B-rad G September 20, 2005
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Feeding the Monkey

When one does something they know they shouldn't do.
Often used in poker terms, where someone calls hands they shouldn't, but applicable to several life situations.
Origins come from zoo patrons who feed the monkeys, ignoring the signs prohibiting such conduct. Usually in return the monkeys throw their feces at them.
"Wow... Patrick just lost like half his chip stack.." 'Yeah.. he keeps feeding the monkey."

"I'm so full.. but it's ALL YOU CAN EAT." "You're going to pay for it later if you keep feeding the monkey man..."
by JHall1790 January 11, 2009
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monkey trailing

the act of leaving behind a trail of toxic nerve gas emmited from ones bunghole.
I didn't warn my grandma i was monkey trailing, so when she caught a wiff she checked her Depends.
by BXplicit December 9, 2008
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