closet humper

a mammal with no balls that humps uncontrollably

"i walked into the bedroom and that closet humper wouldn't leave my teddy bear alone!"

by anero7 May 24, 2023

Closet Cunt

A person (of any sex/gender) who seems like a fun, outgoing, socially acceptable person when in a group situation and with acquaintances. However when you get to know this person it becomes clear they are an insufferable cunt.

I know Janet's husband seems like a fun dude at company parties but when you get to know him you see he's a real CLOSET CUNT.

by Redh00d4 November 11, 2019

closet juice

Liquor found under the cabinet hidden from view; moonshine; homemade wine cabinet juice

I was way too drink after finding grandma's closet juice

by The original Queen Bee June 21, 2017

Closet Beta Male

Someone who outwardly pretends to be a Chad and a Alpha male hating on women's rights and those that respect wamen. Normally below 5'6, extremely hairy and have names that rhyme with Pevin.

Wow that Kevin guy is a real closet Beta Male. What a cuck.

by JueGamlepoo May 7, 2021

Moldy closet

A dirty, or stinky butthole

1: I gotta hit the shower and clean out the moldy closet.

2: Baby, your hygiene sucks! I can smell the moldy closet, a foot away!

by CircleJ September 26, 2023

Beer Closet

Alcoholism

At 5:55 am, Fred asked the gas station attendant when the Beer Closet opened. She replied 6 am, to which he responded, I can't wait that long.

Fred needs to "come out of the Beer Closet"

by Johnny Bigleg September 12, 2015

Closet Tom

A closet tom is someone who takes the chance for sexual activity while high off skunk or in the the prison shower!

So you asked for a blow job off your mate while you were high off skunk! Closet Tom!

by Mix-Race Man On Road September 25, 2019