Douche Lord, noun. Any human who has reached an unsurmountable level of douchiness; often the douchiest person one has ever known. A douche lord is the so-called 'king' ('lord') of douches. Should there be a town comprised solely of douches, this person would undoubtedly be elected President, Mayor, King, Il Duche, etc. dependent on the hierarchy of said town. Typically, a douche lord is one who possesses certain traits: lack of height, slicked back hair (ponytail optional), inability to speak English, KNOWN FOR STEALING INNOCENTS' PHONES OFF BATHROOM HAND DRYERS, monochrome attire, and general cockiness for no evident reason.
Common places where one can inadvertently stumble upon a douche lord: executive boards of healthcare companies (douchiness level can be measured according to picture appearing on website), happy hour at an urban brewery/bar/pub, IN THE KITCHEN AT STAGS HEAD, hosting a well-known reality television show, and other like-minded venues.
Common places where one can inadvertently stumble upon a douche lord: executive boards of healthcare companies (douchiness level can be measured according to picture appearing on website), happy hour at an urban brewery/bar/pub, IN THE KITCHEN AT STAGS HEAD, hosting a well-known reality television show, and other like-minded venues.
That fucking douche lord who works in the kitchen at this pub just stole my god damn phone off the bathroom hand dryer, where I accidentally left it!
by mrsbrady November 26, 2010
Get the Douche Lord mug.The term "douchbag" generally refers to a male with any number of characteristics not associated with one particular region or age demographic. Douchebag is a combination of attitude qualities, social ability, and attire.
In terms of geography douchebags can be found nearly anywhere. For instance, douchebags can be seen in New Jersey where fake diamond earrings, frosted spiked hair, Razor phones, half a can of Axe, unbuttoned collared shirts, Fossil watches, overly groomed chinstraps, backwards colored Yankee hats with the sticker still attached and 2002 Mustangs are considered "tight." At the same time douchebags are also plentiful in the Southwest where on any given Wednesday night on frat row in Tempe you can find males who find it "sweet shit" to wear pink collared shirts, while donning the following attire: pukka-shelled necklaces, fake skater shoes, have some variation of an Asian symbol tattoo on their shoulder or back, wear a Hurley hat that sits cockeyed on their head, throw various fake gang signs during pictures and drive their dad's old white 1997 convertible M3 BMW. They also generally find the length of time one drinks while doing a "keg-stand" directly correlates with the amount of pussy one can get.
As mentioned douchebags transcend not only various geographical locations, but age demographics as well. For instance, douchebags are quite often seen just south of Sarasota, FL as evidenced by 45 year old men who still wear Oakley's, shave their chests, wear shirts that read "ride" on the front and "me" on the back, and think its cool to wear white K-Swiss'. They are usually on first name basis with the girls at Hooters, and think white T-shirt contests with 1/2 half-off Margaritas are better than a baseball game with $1 beers. At the same time, we can see young 21 year old douchebags in West L.A. who still think that Dolce Gabana belt buckles, and fo-hawks are "pimp shit."
In terms of behavior douchebags have an over-inflated sense of self worth, lack the social ability to interact with non-douchebags, and have tricked their minds into thinking that they "get mad pussy." The irony is that they very rarely get pussy, but amazingly have the amazing propensity to talk quite often about allegedly getting it.
In terms of geography douchebags can be found nearly anywhere. For instance, douchebags can be seen in New Jersey where fake diamond earrings, frosted spiked hair, Razor phones, half a can of Axe, unbuttoned collared shirts, Fossil watches, overly groomed chinstraps, backwards colored Yankee hats with the sticker still attached and 2002 Mustangs are considered "tight." At the same time douchebags are also plentiful in the Southwest where on any given Wednesday night on frat row in Tempe you can find males who find it "sweet shit" to wear pink collared shirts, while donning the following attire: pukka-shelled necklaces, fake skater shoes, have some variation of an Asian symbol tattoo on their shoulder or back, wear a Hurley hat that sits cockeyed on their head, throw various fake gang signs during pictures and drive their dad's old white 1997 convertible M3 BMW. They also generally find the length of time one drinks while doing a "keg-stand" directly correlates with the amount of pussy one can get.
As mentioned douchebags transcend not only various geographical locations, but age demographics as well. For instance, douchebags are quite often seen just south of Sarasota, FL as evidenced by 45 year old men who still wear Oakley's, shave their chests, wear shirts that read "ride" on the front and "me" on the back, and think its cool to wear white K-Swiss'. They are usually on first name basis with the girls at Hooters, and think white T-shirt contests with 1/2 half-off Margaritas are better than a baseball game with $1 beers. At the same time, we can see young 21 year old douchebags in West L.A. who still think that Dolce Gabana belt buckles, and fo-hawks are "pimp shit."
In terms of behavior douchebags have an over-inflated sense of self worth, lack the social ability to interact with non-douchebags, and have tricked their minds into thinking that they "get mad pussy." The irony is that they very rarely get pussy, but amazingly have the amazing propensity to talk quite often about allegedly getting it.
Example 1:
Person One: Yo--did you see that guy wearing the Abercrombie hat and leather jacket park his crotch rocket right in front of the bar, and rev his engine for 15 seconds?
Person Two: You mean the guy who ordered 25 "Jag-bombs"? Yea, that guy was a fucking douchebag
Real life doucebags: Keven Federline, Nick Lachey, any dude on The Hills, most of New Jersey,
Person One: Yo--did you see that guy wearing the Abercrombie hat and leather jacket park his crotch rocket right in front of the bar, and rev his engine for 15 seconds?
Person Two: You mean the guy who ordered 25 "Jag-bombs"? Yea, that guy was a fucking douchebag
Real life doucebags: Keven Federline, Nick Lachey, any dude on The Hills, most of New Jersey,
by Matthew Hiler April 7, 2008
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by K-Riggyy May 17, 2008
Get the douche packer mug.the scientific name for schmucks who roll up in public wearing wife-beaters or oversized jeans. Can also be found wearing sunglasses in nightclubs and/or sun-visors on backwards and upside down. These people should be drug outside and shot in the stomach, then used as speed bumps to prevent any neon-toting lowrider crap-mobiles from infesting the neighborhood and lowering property values.
Man oh man, a crowd of complete loser douchebags just rolled into the club and not sirprisingly, all the women rolled out the other side and left. Now it's a giant sausage fesitval and we are all screwed. Guess I'll go write a rap song.
by Bling Bling WBF August 4, 2003
Get the douche bag mug.1)The philosophy held by douchebags, holding that no one other than themselves (or perhaps their close associates) matters in the least bit, and thus that other human beings can and should be treated like complete excrement for little or no reason (and often for selfish reasons). Closely related to fascism, which has been practiced by control freaks such as Adolf Hitler.
2)The act of putting this philosophy into practice.
2)The act of putting this philosophy into practice.
1)Some notable (historical and otherwise) adherents of douchebaggery: Josef Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, George W. Bush, Adolf Hitler, Andrew Jackson, George Lincoln Rockwell, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan
2)Examples of douchebaggery in practice, varying in scope and intensity (in the order of the above adherents): fascism; violent political oppression; winning an election through obvious fraud and subsequently invading Iraq based on admitted lies; the Holocaust; the genocide of the Native Americans; the founding of the American Nazi Party; more violent political oppression; declaring jihad on an entire country and slaughtering 3,000 innocent cubicle workers as part of it; declaring a War on Drugs based largely on the delusion that "every one of those goddamn bastards out to legalize marijuana is a Jew" (direct quote from President Richard Nixon); treating the Constitution and the natural environment as a set of obstacles to be overcome.
2)Examples of douchebaggery in practice, varying in scope and intensity (in the order of the above adherents): fascism; violent political oppression; winning an election through obvious fraud and subsequently invading Iraq based on admitted lies; the Holocaust; the genocide of the Native Americans; the founding of the American Nazi Party; more violent political oppression; declaring jihad on an entire country and slaughtering 3,000 innocent cubicle workers as part of it; declaring a War on Drugs based largely on the delusion that "every one of those goddamn bastards out to legalize marijuana is a Jew" (direct quote from President Richard Nixon); treating the Constitution and the natural environment as a set of obstacles to be overcome.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
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Zach Pannenton is captain douchebag
those who don't even know his name simply know him as the captain.
those who don't even know his name simply know him as the captain.
by ShooToKill August 13, 2006
Get the captain douchebag mug.Note the popped collar, gelled hair, stunner shades, and overwhelmingly misguided sense of self-importance; that man is a true arch douche.
by Absolutely Not520 February 28, 2011
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