Tool Bag Swag

The aura given off by someone who displays extreme tool-ish behavior. Tool Bag Swag is hard to attain, as only the kings of douchebagery exemplify this quality. People who wear nothing but Polo, rediculous oversized sunglasses, and flat brimmed tool or 59fifty hats have this. Tool bag swag describes the ultimate tool's way of life.

Joe displays his Tool Bag Swag as he lifts up his Polo T-Shirt to flash girls his abdominals in the hallway.

by TheSharpestBluntObject June 1, 2011

talking like a tool

Raising your voice in annoyance while over-enunciating words, in order to be understood by the voice recognition program. This occurs most often while talking to Siri on the iPhone, or while trying to get past the automated customer service prompts when you call Comcast, AT&T, Verizon, the gas company, and the like.

Someone should Songify themselves talking like a tool.

by Ae5Ea8 May 7, 2015

the ultimate survival tool

A stupid ass shovel that I don’t even know exists

The ultimate survival tool is so idiotic

by Mozambique 🇲🇿 January 17, 2020

5-Tool player

A baseball player with the five tools: power, contact, throwing, baserunning skills and speed, and fielding skills.

Barry Bonds was considered a 5-tool player in his prime.

by UknowIt!!!!!!!!! February 19, 2010

Tool Shed Factory

Worse than a tool, worse than a tool box, worse than a tool shed. A tool shed factory is so awful that simply hanging out with them makes you a tool shed.

Brent:"Why did that girl just call me a tool shed? I didn't even do anything wrong!"
Ashley:"Clearly it's because you were hanging out with that tool shed factory, Mark!"
Brent:"Well, hell if I ever hang out with him again!"

by McEffinFly October 6, 2009

Wrap your tool

To practice safe sex in regards to makes, or wear a condom.

Don't be a fool; wrap your tool.

by garbonzo November 14, 2013

Crow-Shaped Tool

A meticulously carven piece of wood in the shape of a crow. Used primarily as a door stop. Its shiny new coat of chrome paint is indicative of its magical properties.

"Hey Simmons, would you mind passing the Crow-Shaped Tool over here? I would like to check out its new paint job."

by mikeohl December 14, 2007